Best Relationship, For Love or Money?

A classic question. Difficult for some: love or money? How do you live with your consequences chosen?      — BadWitch

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Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — Love or money?  — Undecided Voter

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Dear Undecided Voter,

Love or money? Which one keeps you warm at night? Sure, money gives you peace of mind—knowing bills are paid. But love has the potential of lifting you up beyond everyday life and drama. Can you tell where I fall on the continuum?

In actuality I would fall in the middle…okay, a little to the Love Left. See money without love—the far right— represents Ebeneezer Scrooge in my mind. The place where money matters more than relationships. Relationships become expendable, the spirit wilts while the wallet thickens.

Too far to the Love Left and it represents the bankrupting of self for love of another. The ungrounded, co-dependant cycle of living for and by outside approval, leaving the self on a shelf with a “For Sale For Love” sign. It is the willingness to ignore the needs of self for the needs of another.

But the middle offers balance. It is the place where the needs of self are balanced with the need to connect with others. Love or money? No. Love and money. Body and soul.  Earthly needs and heavenly aspirations meeting together, in the middle.

Find the And. There really never is an either/or. Don’t pick. Blend.

For love and money,

GoodWitch

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Dear Undecided Voter,

Clearly, there isn’t a universally right or wrong answer to any question, but most especially yours. All depends on your values. Mill over this Love v. Money age old question your way, by assessing what you really want for yourself out of life. [Most people opt for family life, and today it’s unrealistic for most that can happen without making a living of some sort, but here I’m talking about a driving force-sort of  career:] Whether it’s a golden career ladder or warm, loving family life, know yourself first and truly helps you do no wrong…by you.

Knowing what you stand for is only the first step. Next, at what energy, commitment and ambition level will you perform to achieve this dream? If you can’t imagine that energy going to a family, then it looks like career mindedness might be better for you. Vice versa, if you could never imagine spending time and energy on climbing a ladder or asserting your place in the work world, then maybe you are a family-loving homebody. I hope it’s clear to you that there are other choices in this life than family or career, Undecided, but I use these most common choices to help you get to whether Love or Money?

They are related. Knowing whether you can accept money (ostensibly, only) in your family or career life will show you a picture of life like that. Conversely, seeing yourself climbing or establishing your own work ladder, and then having only one or the other choice can be a very eye-opening picture. I’m talking power dynamics. See: Values.

Lastly (this rant also related!), if I’ve said it 100 times, I’ll say it once more here: “Having it all” is a myth, and while it was meant to free and give women more possibilities, buying into it has only served to make more (than the already naturally inclined) women put others first and themselves last (if ever) by only ending up having to do it all — which is hardly the same thing. I believe we “have” what we chose (mindfully or not), and the rest is compromise(d). Prioritize, by knowing yourself and upholding and living out your values, is the best way to less compromise and more content happiness with whatever life you choose and work to accomplish…faster.

Valu(able) & love(able) you,

BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

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