Category Archives: money

“You Already Know You’re Good Enough & Doggone It…”

…that’s “People Like You” in case your bedtime conflicted with the SNL show, or you didn’t have a TV in the early ’90s to be inspired by iconic Stuart Smiley.

Missing from this headline is “Smart Enough”—and most leaders definitely know or at least think they are that. GWBW wants to inspire more to lead by becoming brighter than smarter—that’s by leading with authentic power. And the fact is whether you’re a corporate leader by title, default, wannabe—or leader of your home—true Leaders are expansion- and growth-oriented people.

Authentic power? Let’s courageously push forward with our quest for authentic empowerment in the home, school and workplace to be the brighter leaders we are all meant to get back to. The ease and grace of leading effortlessly with joy and true vision, is born in us all. This blog will explore ways to return to that natural state of effortlessness—the way to living and leading with true meaning.

Because, doggone it!, this modern world needs us all to reconnect and align with our truest selves.

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Law of Attraction Guidance for Leaders & Calm Ass Goddesses.

Blowing a gasket stuck revving at Neutral? Stop struggling, it doesn’t have to be so hard! Learn how to align your enerCHI and get what you really want. Transform—modern life. Email me at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

 © 2009-2017 Simone da Rosa. All rights reserved.

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Anxiety 401k: Parents’ Over-compensation

Parents’ disorder: anxiousrexia money nervosa. Kid’s inheritance: moolah hoarding? Saving your style.   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I’m 25 and my parents…are so freaked out about their financial situation… they’re insisting I put ¾ of my salary towards my retirement. I think that’s way too much, help me get them to get off my back! I’m being responsible, but how do I tell them nicely that just because they neglected to take better care of their own stuff, that I’m not doing the same thing and a better planner than them? I am planning on staying at home another year (to save up a downpayment, I’m almost there!) and they really want to help me, but I swear every other conversation in this house is about my retirement. Old Before My Time

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Dear Old Before Time,

Three-quarters of your salary does seem too much towards your retirement at your age — and yet there’s no time like the present for retirement savings! Investing is all about understanding and embracing your risk tolerance and balancing it with your current life age/stage toward attaining your ultimate financial goal values (e.g., education, home ownership, retirement. Go find yourself a good mentor or professional financial planner). You are just starting out. Since you don’t mention having debt but saving for house down payment, I will assume your presentation of your finances is accurate and speak to that. The only person I personally know who started saving for his retirement first from age 19 on, and then started buying rental property(-ies), was my college BFF. He paid cash for everything (then was shocked he hadn’t built credit) and saved every penny — but he has indeed been set for retirement at minimum 25 years ahead of his. While that is some amazing and awesome peace of mind (especially in these continuing uncertain economic times) I believe it’s important to choose to live a balanced life (cheap can evolve into miserly as habits set, but it’s important to live within your means while meeting your needs, too), and that starts with our thoughts, and yes, I’m still talking about saving and investment here.

Money is emotional.  Much like your investment style, weigh whether your relationship with money (How you are in relationships with others is a strong indicator of how you are with your money, i.e., do you wait for others to take care of things, or are you straightforward and assertive with people? Think about everyone close to you and I’ll be surprised if you can find an exception to that) is a subconscious manifestation of your parents’ worried projections, or if it’s more a reflection (and practice) of your own values — that’s the real financial goal I would focus on attaining.

Bless your blessings,

BadWitch

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Dear Old Before Time,

Well, your parents have some good advice for you, though they may be a bit over-zealous. Here’s the thing: compound interest is your friend. The more you can put in now, the bigger your win at retirement time. Though 75% of your salary seems a bit extreme as you start to save for your new life, the more you save now, the more your money works for you over time.

David Bach, author of Automatic Millionaire and Start Late, Finish Rich, offers a chart that compares the amount of savings three individuals have by the age of 65. The first starts saving $250 per month ($3000 per year) at 15 years old and ends up with $1,615,363.40. The second person starts at age 19 contributing the same $250 per year. But with 4 less years of investing ($4800 less in investment) our second investor has $1,552,739.35—more than $62,000 less than the 15 year old investor. Our last investor starts investing $250 a week at 27 (12 years later than our 15 year old investor; $14,400 less in capital) and earns $1,324,777.67 by age 65—$290,585.80 less than our early investor.

In other words, start early and set up a set amount automatically deposited into a compounding interest retirement account. The more you put in now while your overhead is low will go a long way towards working for your continued solvency through retirement. Some to house savings, some to retirement savings and some towards enjoying your life—do that and see life blossom before you—with a strong foundation to support you.

Good luck and happy savings,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders.

What’s jamming your juice in life? What emotion is hardest for you?  Tell us what’s important to you, what you think about. How we can help you thrive—not just survive—modern life. Email us at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Ring Ring! Valentine’s Day or Not, Does Size Matter?

Thoughtful boyfriend grapples with question of engagement ring around the finger. — BadWitch

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, LOVAHS OFF ALL STRIPES!

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I am planning to ask my girlfriend to marry me on Valentine’s Day. I’m a very practical guy and won’t give her the real ring so she can pick the perfect one herself. I love her a lot but she is more materialistic than me. I’m just curious what you gals think about rings. Does size matter? My sister says those big gawdy rocks are so 90’s? What really matters to you girls? Rocky

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Dear Rocky,

As a pragmatic jewelry lovin’ femalista, sounds like I’m a combo of the two of you. As you suspect of your girl, I would want to pick my own ring (after all, gotta live with that decision!), but I can imagine my far more girlie-girl girrlz thinking that your thoughtful engagement scenario was feel incomplete, lacking something, without the old rock to anchor the space fully. Tiffany and other jewelers will “give” you a classic round cut solitaire for the question popping, so you can later bring in your fiancé for her personalized selection (if she wants to). Here’s more practical advice, pick a trade-in ring in the price range you can actually afford to spend ultimately, to manage her expectations up front. This is my absolute No Brainer recommendation, so you can both “be completed.”

Rings, as with all extremely personal jewelry items, are a matter of individual choice, comfort level, age and finances. So while it’s true that my opinion is extremely important to uninterrupted planetary revolution, it doesn’t mean anything to your girlfriend’s preferences. So I’ll just further share that time matters and space is not always contextual: my perfectly beautiful, decent carat-sized custom ring now looks too small to me, but I haven’t gained a pound. Hee.

Congrats and 4-C’s up!,

BadWitch

P.S. As pragmatic as I am, don’t forget to make this special day the smooshy, sexy-crazy-fun experience that best reflects you two! How do you think this fun-loving pragmatism has been married so long?

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Dear Rocky,

Every girl is different. If you haven’t seen the ridiculous rocks dawning newly engaged celebrity fingers, you’ve clearly been avoiding the size-ist leaning of the rich and famous. Heck, Chad Ocho Cinco spent $10,000 on a designer diamond “friendship” ring for his Dancing with the Stars co-star Cheryl Burke.

Now, that said, I don’t think every girl expects a $10,000 diamond ring, but the expected engagement ring cost is 2 months worth of salary. Though not every woman wants a huge rock that is more cocktail ring than everyday wearable, size does matter to some extent. Remember, this ring is a sign of your love, asking her to spend the rest of her life with you. Let’s be clear, now is not the time to send a message that you will be cheap with her for the rest of your life.

Set your budget. Definitely make a trip to Jewelry Exchange or some equivalent that will let you pay less for more diamond. Then shop and enjoy. This is a sign of your love. If it’s in your budget, let your love shine—diamond style!

Congratulations and best wishes for a long life of love,

GoodWitch

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Image: Honey Conversation Heart Ring

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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UPDATED Bottomless Office Pit: Cake, Gifts & Money Collection

Money collection for office gifts, cakes. Funding co-worker celebrations. Fun, yummy, good or bad idea?  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — If I never have another slice of office birthday cake, I’d live! These constant money drives for other people’s gifts has gotten on my last nerve. Yesterday (she) asked me for money for someone’s baby shower gift in our Utah office who I never even met! This is nuts, crazy, just wrong!!! Give me some good lines.  — Cham-pain Hater

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Dear Cham-pain Hater,

I love cake, I love presents — for me! — so I hear ya, but figure out and clearly state your policy for all to understand about you, and stick with it.

Back in college while working at a major department store, my manager came around at Christmas time to ask for donations to an equally major charity. Coincidentally, this charity had been in the news for administrative financial abuse to fund schmancy lunches and lavish personal travel, and such. I was already consistently giving to an organization of my choice, so when she first asked then attempted to strong-arm me for my hard-earned money (mockingly, “What?! You can’t even give up a dollar?”) — her attitude alone underscored to me that she was only pimping to win a department managers’ contest. That manipulative sort of crap only served to make me stand even firmer in my convictions and state, “Nope. Especially not “even” a dollar.” I freely give to what truly stirs me, and not to earn kiss ass points with a manager competing in a peer contest for a personal gain prize, via my dollars while supposedly campaigning for a charity I didn’t even believe in.

Knowing what you stand for lets you know what you want to fund in life, and keep the change from the rest in your own wallet. In the game of office politics, only give when you expect nothing in return (never give a present to get a present, whether retail or brown-nose points), or all you’ll get is disappointment. Nothing more bitter than a low-carb flourless cake of guilt and shame.

Do-goodahs, pleeeze,

BadWitch

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[No, your RSS and e-Mail subscriptions are not broken. Here’s GW’s added Reply.]

Dear Cake-Champain Hater,

Truth works better than any excuse you can come up with! I would start by asking for a general pool with once yearly contribution (say $20) that is split for all employee presents, like a Christmas Club. I have heard of employees being asked to give $20 a month for other employee gifts. Maybe a $10 a month fund for cake and office morale isn’t asking too much.

My question is, as an employee, don’t you appreciate when your birthday is noticed?  Isn’t that an unrecognized benefit of your work environment? It sounds like you’ve got an office that has taken the time to create a more family like environment. This makes for a comfortable place to work. Believe me, not all offices give a damn whether it’s your birthday, wedding or baby—just do the work.

It is really nice to be appreciated. Your office culture has found a way to give each other recognition of the lives lived outside the cubicle walls. Say thank you and throw in $10. If money is really tight right now, tell your co-workers that truth. They’ll appreciate it. Then throw in $2 or $3.

Family may be a pain in the ass sometimes with their little rituals, but that is the good stuff you remember and appreciate years later. Quit bitching and have some cake.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Divvying Up Splitsville

Equal piece of the pie. The spoils of war. Everyone wants theirs. But in the division of property, is winner takes all really the goal in a war of hearts?   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I finally did it!!!! I broke up with my assh*** long term (relationship). Now we’re divvying up property. The fights are starting all over again. Help! — Fractionator

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Dear Fractionator,

It sounds like congratulations are in order for successfully completing one cycle in your lessons. The trick for you two (and individually) is not to repeat the same trial-and-error homework but to repeat the successful outcome — in your case, a mature ending of something that was no longer serving you. Do the same thing with your things. After all, they are only as potent and valuable as you your selves assign and infuse them with. Keep the power you give freely to the things low, especially as to your emotions they represent (i.e., “That CD you bought me on our first date is mine,” but only because you are still attaching the old sentiment of his taking care of you to the plastic disc, etc. Fill in your own actual emotional ties). Set up rules before re-visiting this property division task (involve an impartial third party, if necessary). Agree to divide things fairly by BR and AR dates (Before Relationship and After Relationship), receipts, and/or any other empirical, pragmatic data or reasoning you can agree to.

Lastly, the other grey-area items should be put in the middle of the living room and “auctioned” for (I’m suggesting reasoned (vs. argued in the aggressive sense) for; best rhetoric prevails) in front of a pre-determined, mutually agreed upon impartial third party. All decisions final.

Lighten your spoils to move on fully,

BadWitch

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Dear Fractitioner,

Congratulations on standing up for you! Don’t stop now! Parsing out property is no easy feat!  There will be times that you must lay down a firm boundary and stake your claim and others when you will need to concede. The key to successfully “divvying” up the property will be your own presence with yourself and what you refuse to let go of and what you are ok with handing away.

Before your next “splitting up the goods” meeting, write out a list of property and star those items that you believe will be contentious creators. Decide ahead of time what your best outcome would be. BE FAIR!! Do not decide you need the thing you know your partner wants most. That will only cause more contentious moments. Decide what items you need to move away or be paid for giving away. For backup, create a second list of negotiating items—those items which you know your partner wants, you don’t care about that you can hold back as bargaining chips to negotiate for the pieces you really want.

Remember, in the end you would be better off walking away from a bunch of property littered with negative associations than putting yourself through hell for CDs or an arm chair. You are more important than any store bought item. In the end, you could just ask for a payout for the bulk of items and start fresh.

You have already started the process of taking care of you. Keep going!

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Bank Robs Client: And Other Tough Relationships

High credit interest loans got you down? Feel your banker just doesn’t understand you anymore? Maybe you should take this one personally.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — After five years at the same bank with good credit and relationships, they just turned me down for a personal loan! Or more accurately, they offered me one at a really high rate. Before I leave them, do I have any recourse? — Credit Where Due

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Dear Credit Where Due,

Credit cupcake, before you dis your bank right back, just stop and realize that this is yet another one of those messy things we all have to deal with in our lives. I’m talking about: relationships. We all drag unresolved issues right into the next relationship, and the next… Granted you are a puny individual and your stud muffin bank is likely a faceless corporate Goliath, but relationships are relationships regardless of what they may look like on the surface. Get straight on what you bring to and how you behave in yours, and you can start to get a clearer picture of why the amazing banking guys/gals you’ve been so devoted to for the last five years don’t bring you flowers anymore, but an overpriced “Happy” Meal.

When asking for any loan, your credit scores (all three of them) will be examined, and interest points will be largely determined by them. Make sure your credit scores are in the range you imagine they should be. A part of your scores but not the whole picture, assuming the relationship with your bank you stated is with an actual personal banker and not just the tellers who can’t help you in credit’s regard, are what your banker is reviewing, but may or may not also give some sway to your character (which in this case includes your employment, your personal (versus just financial) histories with landlords and other creditors, and possibly collateral, if any). Credit cupcake, I cannot say this loudly enough while saying it with sincere empathy: take control of your destiny by responsibly and respectfully co-existing with your credit/money. Or else you will find unsatisfactory “credit due you” at the next “bank” and the next, and…

Understand your money, your self,

BadWitch

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Dear Credit Where Due,

Well, we knew the economic crisis has tightened the purse strings on the banks. And, I understand your disappointment at seemingly being let down by a relationship you have nurtured for the last few years. However, do we ever have recourse when a friend says, “No”?

I cannot say whether late payments or outstanding balances on your credit report may have undermined you. My suggestion is to check your credit report, as there may be items listed on the report that are out of date or just incorrect. Be sure that what creditors are reading on your credit report is up to date and accurate.

Your recourse is that you have the power to give the bank your continued business or not. My suggestion would be to sit down with a representative of the bank and find out why your loan was denied and why the only product left available to you comes at such a high interest rate. Then decide whether to stay or go.

Talk to some other banks—once you’ve cleaned up your credit report as much as possible. Find out what other options you have. Perhaps a credit union will have better rates than a traditional bank. Investigate.

Just remember, in this very capitalistic society, the most effective recourse and vote is usually with your dollars. Give your business to businesses that support you.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Scrooged! Ghost of Christmas Budget Got You Dispirited?

STILL NOT DONE WITH HOLIDAY SHOPPING? We present a GWBW CLASSIC RERUN. You’re welcome. Cheers!

It’s baaack! Christmas gift giving season this year is especially challenging for many people. Turns out “budget” may be the new “charge!” Giving with chutzpah from the heart.   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — My hours at work were cut. I can’t afford the same presents for the holidays as I could before. I know this is stupid of me but I can’t help myself. I’m kind of ashamed. Do you have suggestions for gifts or how I can just relax about this? I know I’m being stupid.    — Less Mistletoe

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Dear Less Mistletoe,

No matter what you celebrate—Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Yule— there is going to be less greenery for many people this year. With, unemployment estimates at more than 15 million people and the number of cutbacks those lucky enough to keep their jobs, Santa will be delivering more tradition and less goodies. There is no reason to fee ashamed. You are trying your best to provide the best Christmas experience possible for your family.

This does not mean that you can’t enjoy a beautiful and bright holiday. On the contrary there are some great, less expensive ways to make the holiday bright. First off, know your budget. If you are spending money on a live Christmas tree—STOP! Invest in a nice artificial tree that you can reuse year after year. The savings will continue to feed your budget for years to come.

Mix homemade and store bought presents under the tree this year. Granddad and Grandmom will be quite happy with a scrapbook of pictures and art work from the kids. Trust me, big hit. Handmade handbags, pillowcases or sleeping bags for the Barbies are easy to sew and keepsakes you and the kids will treasure. Beaded jewelry, mosaic tiles for the garden, any number of easy to do crafts will delight your present openers.

For store bought gifts under the tree, I suggest shopping CyberMondays online for extra savings and check all brands for rebates (ebates.com) before making your purchase. This can save you extra cash on big purchases. Also, check out coupons available online. Do your research. You may find what you want on EBay for less. Check second hand stores like CrossRoads Trading Company for high-end fashion items ready for a second life. Listen, no one will say no to a Kenneth Cole leather jacket in great condition because you found it used for under $40. A good buy is a good buy. Remember the old, “need to know basis” rule. For the most part, your giftees need not know.

Remember, Christmas isn’t about how much stuff you have to give or what you get. In truth, the best present you can give your family is your love and attention. It’s the gift Santa can’t bring that they will remember for years to come.

Happy Holidays,

GoodWitch

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Dear Mistletoe-less,

In the immortal words of my late night (TV, that is) boyfriend Craig Ferguson, “If you want to avoid the stress of Christmas, become Jewish.” In the best of times, the commercial holiday gift giving season can suck big shiny ornaments! “They” frame Black Friday as consumers supporting retail businesses supporting America. Really?, for once in your patriotic, generous life why not avoid the usual 11th Circle of Shopping Hell  and just give…of yourself?

I’ve been bestowed with some pretty darn nice gifts over my lifetime, but the ones that immediately pop to mind are the yummy tangerines in a cute (and no doubt inexpensive by the gross) wire basket I still use daily in my schmancy kitchen, and the hand-computer produced calendar another friend made for me. Beautiful!, and although it was gorgeous looking, I’m referring to the personal nature of the gift itself. Hate fruit? Untalented boob? Remember, some of the things we blow off because they come easily for us in life are the high quality gems of genius in other’s eyes. So just think about what comes naturally for you to create, do, enjoy eating, and those probably most accurately represent the authentic you that your friends and family know and love. DIY this Christmas. Write and gild a poem, or bind a short story. Pull together a themed photo CD of pictures taken on your phone camera. Create coupons for services you’re good at, auto repair, tech support, cooking or running time-saving errands. No time like the present. Get it?

Lastly, check your own gift receiving judgment before projecting it on others you’re giving to.

It’s recess(ion) time,

BW

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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