Tag Archives: happiness

Teaching Sharing: Lesson Plan

Share and share alike. In and out of the home, real schooling for today…and their tomorrows.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — Our daughter and son are 2.5 years apart. The older is 6 and in first grade where she’s now being influenced by some of her friends in ways we’re not so excited about like never before. How do we help both our kids learn how to share? Alpha Influentials

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Dear Alpha Influentials,

Welcome to the world of school age children. Yes, your little one is growing up and stepping out into the big wide world and unfortunately, not everyone raises children with the same standards. Your children will be influenced by classmates, television, movies, and even you and your friends in ways you least expect.

Your job is to give your children a stable foundation they can springboard off refer to. Sharing is a classic. Most kids do not share without training. As they see new way (read: excuses) to not share, they will try to work these new ideas for themselves. The best way to combat that is to be vigilant in your correction. The more your child realizes that not sharing, maybe loses them the toy all together, the less they will try the new ideas. If the outcome does not work, your child will learn  sharing brings more joy than not sharing.

Remember to be vigilant and loving. Remind them that you love them no matter what, but you do not like the behavior being displayed. It’s important that kids know they are loved unconditionally, especially when they are facing discipline and correction. It doesn’t mean they get off light. Discipline and correction are necessary to raise strong, self-assured, good people from childhood to adulthood. Kids with no boundaries rebel more and more to get attention.

You can not really stop outside influences. You can only make your influence more compelling through your own actions (show sharing, donations and generosity in your own behavior), as well as correcting when less than ideal new ideas come into your home.

Good luck!

GoodWitch

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Dear Alpha Influentials,

Hey, ‘rents, teaching sharing is both instructional and influential (how and what you value) as it is associative (a “chair” = “for sitting”). Having said that, as you teach your kids to share, you are sharing your own knowledge base. This is how humans develop. Sharing is beyond “things” and goes straight to the heart of your emotions, what you know, and how you believe the world “is.” What you teach about sharing is important. No doubt. Balancing that with good parental guidance is key, and learning how to share is forever (her future employers thank you). And then, you have to let go and trust your own lessons.

Be aware of your daughter’s influences: from media exposure to close friends (du jour) she spends a lot of time with (especially out of the classroom). Try to get to know their parents. Set a standard both your kids can understand and follow, such as you must speak with a new friend’s parent(s) before spending time at their house, you must meet new friends, etc. Let your kids see your concern around the sharing issue/lesson by exemplifying sharing within your family. Utlimately, you can talk until you’re blue in the face, but kids copy what they see you do, not what you say.

No foolin’ about sharing today or tomorrow,

BadWitch

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Image: Tania Liu

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders.

What’s jamming your juice in life? What emotion is hardest for you?  Tell us what’s important to you, what you think about. How we can help you thrive—not just survive—modern life. Email us at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

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The Real Clash: Stay or Should I Go?

Burn outs are kinda cool in a hot rod. Not so much on the job. How to stay cooler.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — …career of 12 years…What constitutes “burn out”? How do you know if you are actually burned out and it would be wise to find a new course to pursue, or whether you just need a long vacation, and should stay put in the industry you spent so much time developing skills, contacts and your reputation in? Path Trekker

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Dear Path Trekker,

Check out what we told Miller Time about his job exhaustion.

As for what constitutes “job burn out,” as usual, I suggest you do review columns. This time, list all the things that first ignited, attracted and fueled you to and on your job. Second column, quickly jot all the things that frustrate you on the job and about your workplace. I’d rather you list emotions/feelings elicited than nit picky line items like “broken water cooler,” which may or may not translate as “dehydrated, listless and angry.” Half joking. Cross-check the two columns. This one is more a highly subjective look-see between the two columns to see which is: larger/longer, which items may be completely negated by something in the other column, and overall how each column makes you feel. Do this exercise again same time for the next four weeks. See if recognizing and shifting what you can has changed anything for you. Own what’s yours, weigh what you can’t control against your overall life needs and peace.

Meanwhile, a well-deserved, fun-filled (whatever that means to you) vacation away from the office is always a rejuvenating, reenergizing treat our culture doesn’t take as seriously as it should. Go expedia.com, orbitz.com, or Travelocity.com (among others) — do a staycation — but go forward, Path Trekker!

Stop and smell the rose essential oil,

BadWitch

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Dear Path Trekker,

Follow the tickle. The question is what inspires you and leads you t wan to spend your time in the activity.

The truth is whatever you choose to do will, no doubt, use some of the very skills and contacts you have honed over all these years. Though, you may decide the field you are in no longer serves, skills are transferable.

To start, yes, schedule a vacation. Give yourself time from the pressures of everyday to get a read on whether you enjoy the duties and opportunities available to you in your everyday career. Then it’s time you play Blue Sky/

What would you do if there were no limits? If money, security, social pressure and guilt were taken out of the work/life/career equation, what would you do with your time for work, fun, joy?

The questions to such answers may be unrealistic when normal life circumstances are applied, but it will start to point you in the right direction. You will see more clearly where your interest lie.

The key is to rest up and give yourself the time and space to figure out how you feel and what you want.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (inspiration)

“He who angers you conquers you.” ~Elizabeth Kenny

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”~Anon

“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.”~ William H Walton

“People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves.”~Aesop

“Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.”~Robert Brault

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Healthy Relationships, Not Codependent

Kicked to the curb: old shoe of tired worn out relationships that don’t fit. Walking tall in confidence and supportive new shiny stilettos. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I get a little bit offended when you talk about co-dependent relationships. I used to have pretty bad, terrible relationships with men just for affection. Since I found my now-husband who is sweet, respects me but is a bit immature, do you think I’m being co-dependent to take care of things he’s not as good at? I don’t mind. This feels like the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with a man and we’ve been married 8 years now. Are we co-dependent?

Coefficient

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Dear Coefficient,

Life is a journey and each step its own destination. Congratulations on not standing still on your trek, but moving forward as you’re ready to. I’m glad you’ve found the strength to step away from abusive relationships to better acknowledge and honor yourself. It’s no surprise to me that you attracted a far more secure man in the trade up. We attract what we are. All true partnerships grow with each partner’s way of being teaching and informing the other’s in an evolving dance…together. If you’ve managed eight years and counting, that’s great. Without meeting you two together, no one can say whether your functioning relationship is co-dependent of not.

Please take the time to recognize and revel in your major win of self-improvement!, but if you find yourself still stinging from your apparent hot button word “co-dependent,” I encourage you to stop and ask yourself why. What about this word bothers you so much? Look at your associations, look for what thoughts it triggers in you. Shame and pain don’t live long in bright light.

Congrats and keep up the work,

BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Self-Expansion Through Self-Expression (inspiration)

“Meaning and morality of One’s life come from within oneself. Healthy, strong individuals seek self-expansion by experimenting and by living dangerously. Life consists of an infinite number of possibilities and the healthy person explores as many of them as possible. Religions that teach pity, self-contempt, humility, self-restraint and guilt are incorrect. The good life is ever changing, challenging, devoid of regret, intense, creative and risky.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

“What gives life its value if not its constant cry for self-transcendence.?” ~ Sri Chinmoy

“Happiness is an expression of the soul in considered actions.” ~ Aristotle

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Rude Boyfriend = Anger, Mad & You

Unfortunate take on He said, She said. He just doesn’t believe what she says. Anger dismissed is the new black. Seriously.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — My otherwise ok fine relationship with my boyfriend goes south whenever I disagree with him and get angry. I don’t think he takes my temper seriously. I’m not having hissy fits like a child, and I don’t have a loud voice that booms like his and I’m not rude, so it’s a joke to him when I’m mad (and usually don’t agree with) at him. Any suggestions? High-pitched Whinney

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Dear High-pitched Whinney,

Tell the control freak asshole to kiss your ass and move on with your life. If your opinion does not mean enough to him for him to take you seriously, why are you dating him? He wants a yes man, not a thinking girlfriend.

You must be able to express what you want and believe in in a relationship. It should be safe for you to express who you are. And if your control freak boyfriend doesn’t appreciate that you have valuable thoughts, he doesn’t deserve you. Find someone who sees and appreciates who you are and what you have to contribute to the relationship.

This guy only seems to care about how you help him feel good about himself by rubberstamping his decisions. Pardon my French, but that is bullshit. Kick him to the curb. As my mama always said, “I can do bad all by myself.”

Stand up for you now. Later may be too late.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Dear High-pitched Whinney,

I’m concerned here about what sounds like more than the usual power trip adjusting in a couple working out the day-to-day dynamic. No offense to your relationship, but I want you to stop and consider what its conditions (as in conditional love) mean to your health and wellbeing (self-worth and esteem), and why you are allowing them.

As for your boyfriend, I’m going to go on the assumption that you don’t have anger management issues (which he could conveniently or otherwise interpret as “crying wolf”). Whensomeone important to us doesn’t take a legitimate aspect of our personality and feelings seriously, they are disrespecting who we are as a whole being. As much as you shouldn’t try to “fix” anyone else (taking them on as a challenge or hopeful project), don’t allow someone to try to dismiss or bully your reactions and feelings out of you. You are a sum of these things.

As such, you also have a responsibility (to others but, always, yourself first) to objectively check your emotions and how they are affecting your overall quality of and progress in life. If you really don’t know, or have difficulty being more objective about yourself, ask a professional (contact me for confidence coaching) or trusted friend or peer who models an overall successfully balanced life you’d like to emulate, to help you get some clarity. Then check again to see who needs to take feelings and emotions more seriously in this relationship — this is not a fight about fighting.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T,

BadWitch

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Image: Erin Coronoa

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Lose-Lose Situation. Hating Life

Making lemonade out of lemons. Start stepping. One day at a time. Every day is a new opportunity. Lightening up, already!  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — Help! I hate my life. I can’t get anything going right. No Win

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Dear No Win,

While some people are kicking butt and taking names, the on- and offline feedback our article ‘Trapped! Horrible Job No Hope’ got, showed me that you’re not alone in your feelings. Also check out our Giving Thanks post. Still, I want to echo a tenacious friend’s annoyance at our collective malaise, or at least less than stellar energy to thrive. She commented about the latest soft drink trend of “relaxing” vs. energy boosters with something like, “We need more coffee or other stimulants to get us past this enforced apathy.” To know her is to love her.

Overwhelm is a natural feeling from sadness that becomes depression, until you are simply not responding to positive stimuli because you can literally no longer see it.  You’re rewired for disappointment and failure. Instead, retrain your brain by becoming conscious of your thoughts. Break the overwhelm by focusing on one area of your life at a time, and one aspect of that area daily, until your capacity to see when things are going right, well, excellent, once again has been reconnected, switched back on and powered with continuous effort. Come back to the light one day, one area, one thought at a time.

C’mon Get Happy!,

BadWitch

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Dear No Win,

It’s time to put a different spin on this life thing. Maybe you are not the most popular, the most admired or the most successful, but that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t do anything right. Success is judged by you. For instance, maybe you don’t win the race, but you run your personal best time ever. That’s a win if you look at it from the right angle.

Put a little PR spin into your internal monologue. Instead of telling yourself , “You suck!” Congratulate yourself for having the balls to try. Right now you can thank yourself for having the guts to reach out for some positive advice.

Earlier today a group of friends and I were laughing about being dorks. “When did you first know you were a dork?” was the question of the day. Somewhere in there we discovered the things that made us dorks in high school were the very things most appreciated and celebrated about us now.

This place where you are now is not your whole life. It is a moment in time. Want more out of each moment? Tell yourself “good job” more often than, “You suck.” Recognize when you have done well and recognize where practice makes more perfect. You are merely human which means sometimes you win and sometimes you are a loser. Decide to be happy now no matter what and you’ll win. Frankly, that is all any of us can do.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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