Category Archives: love

“You Already Know You’re Good Enough & Doggone It…”

…that’s “People Like You” in case your bedtime conflicted with the SNL show, or you didn’t have a TV in the early ’90s to be inspired by iconic Stuart Smiley.

Missing from this headline is “Smart Enough”—and most leaders definitely know or at least think they are that. GWBW wants to inspire more to lead by becoming brighter than smarter—that’s by leading with authentic power. And the fact is whether you’re a corporate leader by title, default, wannabe—or leader of your home—true Leaders are expansion- and growth-oriented people.

Authentic power? Let’s courageously push forward with our quest for authentic empowerment in the home, school and workplace to be the brighter leaders we are all meant to get back to. The ease and grace of leading effortlessly with joy and true vision, is born in us all. This blog will explore ways to return to that natural state of effortlessness—the way to living and leading with true meaning.

Because, doggone it!, this modern world needs us all to reconnect and align with our truest selves.

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Law of Attraction Guidance for Leaders & Calm Ass Goddesses.

Blowing a gasket stuck revving at Neutral? Stop struggling, it doesn’t have to be so hard! Learn how to align your enerCHI and get what you really want. Transform—modern life. Email me at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

 © 2009-2017 Simone da Rosa. All rights reserved.

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Freedom Cry: The RE-Abolitionist Movement

If you know nothing else about your GoodWitch/ BadWitch, you know that I’m all about personal FREEDOM for all. I coach it for personal and business living, I try my best to maintain it in every sphere of my life. But the fact is…

We are NOT all free! So all the more, Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. While some people make it a tradition to jump on a Freedom Train to celebrate, this also made it the perfect day to bring to light a topic I have known about only on its periphery for the past five years in every state in America (and around the world): Human Slavery Trafficking. While most of us associate it with sexual slavery trade, the numbers show that only accounts for about 20% of the slavery occurring, oftentimes, right under our very noses. Domestic slavery still exists! It’s 2012, our culture is not used to seeing or thinking about slavery as a current practice. 

Dr. David Bastone, PhD, professor at USF, took a year sabbatical to travel and research this modern day event, and figure out ways people can come to action. He calls it the Re-Abolitionist Movement. His site NotForSaleCampaign.org is chockful of eye-popping info, and actionable options. The social site SlaveryMap.org notes real sightings and case notations of documented slavery cases possibly in your neighborhood and all across these free United States.

No one is free until we all are.  —Simone

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Calm Ass(ertive) Goddess & LoA Coaching.

Blowing a gasket stuck revving at Neutral? Stop struggling, it doesn’t have to be so hard! Learn how to align your enerCHI and get what you really want. Transform—modern life. Email me at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

 © 2009-2017 ManifestGroup and Simone da Rosa. All rights reserved.

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Love: The One Who Got…Awry

What is love? So sweet the feelings between two and…their family baggage? Making “love” on your own terms only.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I want an unconditional love relationship with my boyfriend. I’m convinced he’s “the one.” We both come from divorced but loving families. You know how they say we become our parents, and end up repeating what we grew up seeing? How do we not repeat our parents’ mistakes in our relationships? One & Only

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Dear One & Only,

Annnd…what does he want? Have you two even discussed your longer view(s), and if so, do you feel mutually about your relationship? Spend some time chatting out your individual back stories. Is one of you successful at not repeating family dysfunction and/or history? Help the other. Share and come up with ideas as to how you two can do it “better” than you may have seen it growing up.

If you and your boyfriend feel mutually that you each are The One, then the only way to break the habits of your families’ worst patterns is to recognize them fully. Be aware vigilantly. Practice diligently. And keep talking (as the relationship evolves, so will the old issues’ impact and your expression of them) about these things (on both sides) frequently together. If your man is the rare one who enjoys doing these things, then he really may be The One…for a lot of us!

Relate consciously, be mindful,

BadWitch

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Dear One & Only,

Be aware! Remember that being in an devoted, unconditional relationship means seeing the person as he or she is—not just as a boyfriend or husband.

It is easy when we are in long-term relationships as the holder of social mores. Suddenly he is suppose to act like the typical (read: cookie-cutter romantic comedy suitor), perfect mate. Flowers, candy, never a cross word and great declarations of love are necessary for the relationship to seem steady. Bullshit.

Don’t put the masks of “husband”, “wife”, “boyfriend”, “girlfriend” over the clear view of who you are in relationship with. See the truth. Unconditional means without judgment so you and your partner can be accepted as you are—not as someone else would have you be. Set your boundaries. Talk through disagreements and realize that both of you will have to contribute to the good and the bad times.

If this person is truly your one and only, realize hat there will be no violins or rainbows because you are together. It will be two people ready and aware of persona faults, past history and how to be fully respectful to each other.

You can break the chains of family history, but only through awareness, practice and personal responsibility.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Image: of the Hatfield & McCoy’s children’s reunion

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Trust (BW)

Last week seemed extra long and was definitely hard for me. A beloved parent received shockingly sudden serious news from the doctor. I’m pretty far down the road of senior parent care, so in the midst of all the business and chaos (but even to my own surprise), this time I found that I had earned the luxury of being philosophical. And I thought a lot about “Trust” (my thoughts about its partner “Surrender).

My general formula for Trust is that we all start out with 100% open trust in our psycho-emotional bank, then are debited the percentage of whatever happened to us in life by, say, age 5. If that sum is 50% or higher, we have a corresponding tendency to trust people and situations in life. If it’s 49% or below, we will commensurately see the world as a booby-trapped place fraught with ways to be hurt or worse, disappointed. Leave room for gradations of gray on both sides. Then from a strictly legal definition, a “Trust” means: A relationship created at the direction of an individual, in which one or more persons hold the individual’s property subject to certain duties to use and protect it for the benefit of others. And there you have it. It obviously behooves us to have the most Trust possible. To have Trust in life, is for one’s own benefit, and the benefit of those in her/his life.

This city girl grew up with the benefit of a high Trust quotient. I strive to share that wealth with anyone around me who will listen. I believe the killer of Trust is not hurt, but the kind of disappointment that turns into cynicism. I’m choosing to trust that, after the things that we can and are doing something about, the rest is exactly as it was always meant to be. I trust my Mother Knows Best for herself and that this path is strewn with petals of lessons up and down, which can be trampled angrily on or admired for their fragrance and color. I trust that (especially in being so alike) she will always be my greatest teacher no matter where either of us is on our journeys.

What’s your trust quotient? Even if it’s high, how do you raise it daily? I trust, if you’re a reader of this blog, you likely do.  — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (inspiration)

“He who angers you conquers you.” ~Elizabeth Kenny

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”~Anon

“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.”~ William H Walton

“People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves.”~Aesop

“Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.”~Robert Brault

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Healthy Relationships, Not Codependent

Kicked to the curb: old shoe of tired worn out relationships that don’t fit. Walking tall in confidence and supportive new shiny stilettos. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I get a little bit offended when you talk about co-dependent relationships. I used to have pretty bad, terrible relationships with men just for affection. Since I found my now-husband who is sweet, respects me but is a bit immature, do you think I’m being co-dependent to take care of things he’s not as good at? I don’t mind. This feels like the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had with a man and we’ve been married 8 years now. Are we co-dependent?

Coefficient

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Dear Coefficient,

Life is a journey and each step its own destination. Congratulations on not standing still on your trek, but moving forward as you’re ready to. I’m glad you’ve found the strength to step away from abusive relationships to better acknowledge and honor yourself. It’s no surprise to me that you attracted a far more secure man in the trade up. We attract what we are. All true partnerships grow with each partner’s way of being teaching and informing the other’s in an evolving dance…together. If you’ve managed eight years and counting, that’s great. Without meeting you two together, no one can say whether your functioning relationship is co-dependent of not.

Please take the time to recognize and revel in your major win of self-improvement!, but if you find yourself still stinging from your apparent hot button word “co-dependent,” I encourage you to stop and ask yourself why. What about this word bothers you so much? Look at your associations, look for what thoughts it triggers in you. Shame and pain don’t live long in bright light.

Congrats and keep up the work,

BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (BW)

Of all things not to hold close to one’s heart most especially, a grudge would be in the top two. Sustained anger is the emotion that turns into resentment and bitterness. Negative emotions produce chaotic heart rhythms, which negatively impact the rest of the body’s systems. Studies show that for every five (5) minutes of anger you feel, your body’s immune system drops in effectiveness for 12 hours. Conversely, five minutes of happiness and love you feel does the same in the positive for your body and its systems.

Allowing yourself persistent feelings of resentment and grudges holds you in the past, eats away at you, and lessens your availability to better options and events in the present. Grudges make you less whole, and lesser than. Don’t bring your grudge’s bitterness and anger from the past that’s gone forever, into all your relationships today and tomorrow. Forgiveness is first a choice, and then a process of commitment. You must want to change and grow. When you do, then you can. Next, work on you(r) will.  BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (GW)

What’s the point! You hold a grudge, reminding yourself over and over again to release cortisol into your system, send acid churning in your stomach and raise your heart rate and blood pressure through the roof because this person hurt you. At what point is this suppose to actually hurt the other person?

Want to know what can really hurt the other person? Obscurity. Loss of Interest. That’s right, just like I’d tell my child on the playground if another child is not playing nice, walk away. Life is too short for grudges. It only leads o stuck energy, acid reflux and migraines. Juust kick em to the curb and move on. You will be all the happier and wiser for it. — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Pushy Wannabe Grandma, “Pregnancy Now!”

Tick tock!, she don’t stop. If you wait, will it be too late?  When moms pushes you to make her a granny now.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — As a single woman in her mid thirties, my mother keeps warning me that if I wait even a day longer to have children, she will never be a grandmother. To what extent is this true or untrue? What should I do to ensure that I have the option for motherhood in the future?Pregnant Pause

 

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Dear Pregnant Pause,

Firstly, I can’t think of too many choices in this world more important than whether or not to have children…except maybe when to have them. With all due respect to your mother, she’s already had her time as one, it’s now completely up to you as to if and when to you will become one. Own that fact, exemplify that feeling.

As to when, if you’re healthy, fertile and want a family, make Pros and Cons lists if you need help with more clarity. Obvious considerations include your health, wealth, practical and strategic career accounts (day-to-day childcare options versus your availability to remain work-relevant and competitive), and the often under-considered urges/desires and assumptions/notions you may or may not have about your “family.” Siblings to trusted spiritual leaders may help with this last one.

Future options protection? Here’s one idea if you can swing the finances (I’m sorry I didn’t grab the link when I recently heard about a young woman’s brilliant and controversial plan!). She knows she wants kids ultimately, but not while she’s competing and building her equally important career. She had her own eggs harvested and frozen for IVF when she is ready for motherhood. Dissenting religious beliefs completely respected and aside, I have to tell you that I didn’t understand why this was a “news” story in this day and age, except for suggesting that many people in our society still don’t actually “family plan,” or may have some misunderstandings about the challenging but viable IVF process.

Far more important than making your mother vicariously happy, please make sure you are happy about your own parenting status by deeply researching and considering all the options available to you specifically.

Gestate on that,

BadWitch

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Dear Pregnant Pause,

More and more women are waiting to start a family. This is not the 50’s anymore—where  women marry straight out of high school or go to college to find a husband and then hit fast forward on the family planning.

That being said, age can affect fertility. A woman is born with all the eggs she will have in her life. These eggs age as we do, sometimes forming a hard outer shell, which can keep sperm from penetrating the egg. So what does this mean?

It means that you may have issues getting pregnant without assistance as you start to age past late thirties. However, reproductive endocrinology (yes, the science of test tube babies) has come a long way. Single women, same sex couples and fertility challenged heterosexual couples are making their family dreams a reality through IVF (in-vitro fertilization). In other words, though the science is not fail-proof, success rates show it is a viable option.

So, though your mom is ready for grandkids right this moment, do what is right for you. You can start with a conversation with your OB/GYN and perhaps a consultation with a well-respected reproductive endocrinologist to determine if there are any other issues besides age, which may be a fertility challenge for you.

Sadly, in the world of fertility, age does matter. And, yes, being called “older” at 40 may be one of the more annoying side-effects, but know that you may yet have a child in a few years. I had my first child at 33 and my second at 36. So, apparently my mid-thirties were quite fertile. Does that mean I’m done at 44-not necessarily. Egg donation is also an option, as is adoption. In other words, if you want a family, there are ways and means. Don’t step on the gas now to make someone else happy, because it’s you that have the responsibility for growing a responsible member of society for the following 18 years—at least.

Be happy where you are and know your options and opportunities for the future,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

 

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

 

 

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Ring Ring! Valentine’s Day or Not, Does Size Matter?

Thoughtful boyfriend grapples with question of engagement ring around the finger. — BadWitch

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, LOVAHS OFF ALL STRIPES!

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I am planning to ask my girlfriend to marry me on Valentine’s Day. I’m a very practical guy and won’t give her the real ring so she can pick the perfect one herself. I love her a lot but she is more materialistic than me. I’m just curious what you gals think about rings. Does size matter? My sister says those big gawdy rocks are so 90’s? What really matters to you girls? Rocky

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Dear Rocky,

As a pragmatic jewelry lovin’ femalista, sounds like I’m a combo of the two of you. As you suspect of your girl, I would want to pick my own ring (after all, gotta live with that decision!), but I can imagine my far more girlie-girl girrlz thinking that your thoughtful engagement scenario was feel incomplete, lacking something, without the old rock to anchor the space fully. Tiffany and other jewelers will “give” you a classic round cut solitaire for the question popping, so you can later bring in your fiancé for her personalized selection (if she wants to). Here’s more practical advice, pick a trade-in ring in the price range you can actually afford to spend ultimately, to manage her expectations up front. This is my absolute No Brainer recommendation, so you can both “be completed.”

Rings, as with all extremely personal jewelry items, are a matter of individual choice, comfort level, age and finances. So while it’s true that my opinion is extremely important to uninterrupted planetary revolution, it doesn’t mean anything to your girlfriend’s preferences. So I’ll just further share that time matters and space is not always contextual: my perfectly beautiful, decent carat-sized custom ring now looks too small to me, but I haven’t gained a pound. Hee.

Congrats and 4-C’s up!,

BadWitch

P.S. As pragmatic as I am, don’t forget to make this special day the smooshy, sexy-crazy-fun experience that best reflects you two! How do you think this fun-loving pragmatism has been married so long?

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Dear Rocky,

Every girl is different. If you haven’t seen the ridiculous rocks dawning newly engaged celebrity fingers, you’ve clearly been avoiding the size-ist leaning of the rich and famous. Heck, Chad Ocho Cinco spent $10,000 on a designer diamond “friendship” ring for his Dancing with the Stars co-star Cheryl Burke.

Now, that said, I don’t think every girl expects a $10,000 diamond ring, but the expected engagement ring cost is 2 months worth of salary. Though not every woman wants a huge rock that is more cocktail ring than everyday wearable, size does matter to some extent. Remember, this ring is a sign of your love, asking her to spend the rest of her life with you. Let’s be clear, now is not the time to send a message that you will be cheap with her for the rest of your life.

Set your budget. Definitely make a trip to Jewelry Exchange or some equivalent that will let you pay less for more diamond. Then shop and enjoy. This is a sign of your love. If it’s in your budget, let your love shine—diamond style!

Congratulations and best wishes for a long life of love,

GoodWitch

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Image: Honey Conversation Heart Ring

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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