Tag Archives: economy

Boss Throws Employee Under the Bus

What to do when the Boss Formerly Known as “Cool” goes gonzo berserk-o on you? Managing your manager in times of stress.   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I have enjoyed my job with a company until recently. I truly believe in their mission but now I find my immediate boss is totally stressed out and throwing me under the bus for things he’s missed and that his boss is getting on him for. He’s been listing off a bunch of crap and cc’ing everyone in the management chain on it. I don’t agree with his comments, but not because I’m defensive. He’s just throwing me under the bus. How do I deal with this without losing my job I need so much? Run Over

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Dear Run Over,

Ah!, petty tyrants! It’s true what they say, that they are usually our biggest teachers in life. So congrats for the promotion to working with one now. …Having said that…

When the going is good, it’s easy to be a cool and fun boss, so I will cut his current bad “skills” some slack in this stressed time. This only means I’m suggesting you schedule a one-on-one with him to discuss the concerns you’ve outlined here. This isn’t about proving a thesis or giving a lecture, but rather to address then seek cues and clues as to length and duration of his said offensive behaviors, and mutually identify some possible solutions. This first meeting should primarily be an assessment to determine a direction for your next steps in the workplace. Even if he is completely and totally open to agreeing with you and admitting his ineffective management conduct (and he won’t), changing behaviors is a process. But should he respond other than with that miracle, you will want to very carefully understand where he is coming from, for your own good actions moving forward.

Email cc’g everyone with accusations (founded or unfounded) about you both meets usual protocol in many offices, as well as is unprofessional if the tone or outright accusation is wrong. I would highlight this in your conversation, because likely he received a good chew out from above, and he is very possibly covering his tracks behind him (a.k.a. CYA or self-preservation).

Let him know you are open to making improvements (tasks and relationships). Be objective, speak plainly but respectfully. Don’t interrupt each other. By the end of the meeting, you will know exactly what you must do next. Oh and document, document, document.

Dialogue means “two” and reciprocal,

BadWitch

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Dear Run Over,

There’s a lot of this “throwing under the bus” going around. My guess is your boss, who I will describe as a wimp with power, is either too scared for the safety of their own job or trapped in a perfectionist mindset that keeps him unable to fess up when it’s his fault. It takes a mature person to admit when they are wrong. Apparently, your boss still has some growing up to do.

It is horrible when you are feeling less motivated for he overall mission of the company because your immediate boss is unable o act in a mature manner. But don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Surely, if you still want this job, you get that one person’s actions do not add up to the entire value of a company. Keep going.

My answer, be sure that you give your own answer to some of these email. It is not being defensive to either give your version of events or let the higher ups know critical pieces of information were missing when you were doing your piece of the work. Chances are your higher ups already know the problems with this manager. Give them the info they need to make the right decisions. Let them know that you are the scapegoat without actually pointing fingers. Just tell the truth with as little emotion as possible. Ask questions. Let your higher ups know you are trying to do the right thing.

Truth is the higher ups as probably less than impressed that these issues keep crossing their desk. Your boss needs to realize the sign of a good manager is the ability to help their team get things right. Training up underlings leads to a crack team where everyone is invested in the outcome. Pointing fingers and waiting to throw people under the bus every time something goes wrong leads to decreased productivity. Your team should not be working on pins and needles. If you are constantly waiting for the axe to drop, you’ll be questioning your work rather than really working to do your best. No one likes to be waiting to see whether there job will be threatened every time they make a mistake.

Face it, your boss is a wimp who doesn’t understand that the truly powerful empower the people who work for them for the best of all. He’s too focused on taking credit for everything done well and throwing you under the bus for anything wrong. Do your best work and let the higher ups know what’s going on—for your sanity and your job!

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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How Money Works: You 101

Before making more purchases, pay off most or all debt and save a safety cushion for yourself, too. Whoa. Easier said than done, especially when no one teaches you the basics. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — This is hard and embarrassing for me to admit, so be gentle with me. I haven’t been good with money EVER. Why don’t they teach these things in school? Now I’m noticing that all my credit cards are showing me how many months and years it would take to pay off my debt if I paid the minimums. Is it ok to pay the minimums if I now know when it will be paid off? I guess I’m not really sure what that information means to my wallet? — Minimum Minnie

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Dear Minimum Minnie,

Excellent and timely (holiday season) question, brave chica. Our society, while hailing you-can-doism, doesn’t take the time to teach the basics of personal finance. Additionally in listening to their stories, many women especially seem to me to have Old Skool and dysfunctional relationships with money. How we handle our selves, is how we handle money, and shows up in our credit scores. In life, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, but it doesn’t follow that you would be self-disciplined (or even moderately paying attention) in one area of responsibility in your life without being similarly so around your money, too. Respect your self/your money and it will respect you in return.

As for understanding what the pay down information on your statements mean, I suggest you might want to find a credit organization, either an official business or a local bank or church that offers basic consumer credit courses for free. [In the broadest strokes, the lower the monthly payment you make on a purchase, the longer it takes to pay off and you will ultimately be paying more in interest than the principal cost of the item. It does not behoove you to pay the minimum, generally — but building up a safety cushion of savings is supremely important, simultaneously (and in all economic climates, ladies!). Also, educated yourself about annual percentage of rate (APR) and the differences between nominal APR, and effective APR, so please understand what interest rates you are actually paying.] Understanding how your money works is tied directly and bindingly to understanding how you work your life. I’m down with money maven Suze Orman’s basic and general views on women and their money . I don’t sell her books or recommend her products except in the most personal ways of appreciating how she communicates basic life ideas and ties them to basic money fundamentals.

The steps to learn about how to pay your bills and save/invest, are not rocket science. The more challenging part is realizing and grasping that it’s all about your attitude in and about how you live your life that really counts to adding up your monetary wealth.

Own your self,

BadWitch

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Dear Minimum Minnie,

Congratulations on taking the first step—admitting that you don’t know. Too often—especially with money—we pretend we know because it seems like we should. But sweeping the issue under the rug in this case can be very, very costly.

First off, let’s do some really simple math. Let’s say you have a credit card at 17.5%. If you borrow $100, you have promised to pay $117.50 in return. If you owe $1000, you have a signed contract that says you will pay $175 beyond original loan. At a $10,000 debt, you will pay an additional one thousand seven hundred and fifty dollars. That, however is only if you pay the entire amount of the debt off at once, immediately within the first month. Otherwise you are paying 17.5% on the total amount you owe every month. Paying the minimum means you will pay thousands over your original balance . So that $200 blouse will have cost $2000 by the time it’s paid for. Now, is it really worth $2000?

Nothing in this life is free and this money you are giving away to support your credit card company could be in your savings account. As Dave Ramsey, the Total Money Makeover author says, “Winning at money is 80 percent behavior and 20% head knowledge.”

Decide to educate yourself. Listen, you can take steps to understand how to budget and how to get out of debt on your own or wait until your finances are so tight your sanity and your bank accounts are on the rocks. Trust me, as I speak from personal experience, it is never too late to get real with your money situation. Know how much you have in the bank, how much you can afford in “discretionary” fund. Developing spending behaviors that limit debt is actually one of the most self-affirming actions you can take. My sense of self-esteem shot through the roof when I decided to take the road less traveled.

I was the youngest child in my family — a happy surprise, I like to think. Because I was so much younger than my siblings and my parents were older when I was born, my family opted for the” just do it for her” rather than teaching route. This later developed into my own questioning whether I was even capable, since even as I got older everyone else assumed I needed someone else to do it for me, pay it for me, take care of me. Fast forward to getting a divorce with two children in tow and listening to my family worry about how I will survive.

Did I do everything right? Hell no. But I learned after quite a bit of denial and finding myself in the corner shorting Peter to keep Paul from turning off my lights. You can make a number of decisions, including Consumer Credit Counseling, but it all comes down to making the decision to over-throw the consumer addiction. Live on less. Maybe you don’t need to spend $150 on cable every month. Perhaps you can get by on $75 worth of channels.

Aren’t you ready to build wealth instead of debt? Get information from the experts. Read David Bach’s Automatic Millionaire. The little cuts invested well can add up to millions. Take the first steps for yourself. You’ll build you sense of your personal capability. You’ll know you have power over your life. And you are powerful. Just decide to own it.

Happy wealth building,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Job Offer Relocate or Reject & Stay?

When partners can’t agree on one’s job offer that affects both, the job at hand is to choose the best compromise.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — My wife has a (lateral) job offer from her firm that necessitates our relocating across the country. We know no one in that state, its job prospects for me are on par with most any other state, we could buy a lot of house there by selling ours here, and we have one preschool child. Here’s the kicker, I want her to pull the trigger more than she seems to want to. She seems satisfied with her work but I think they’re trying to save her job with this offer. I fear she will stay and then get laid off and we need both salaries. We’ve talked and talked but just can’t come to agreement. Suggestions?  Worried Hubby

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Dear Worried Hubby,

Since you say you’ve both talked it through so much, let’s not debate the merits of your wife taking this job as you’d like. Let’s have you two honestly explore your individual fears around both her scenarios: accepting and rejecting the offer.

It sounds simple but I like a good pro/con-type list for such quandries, and especially if I’m in one with someone else. Writing it out will help you two see your own and each other’s underlying fears more clearly and completely, and that allows you both to connect the dots to your actual line items of financial impact, realistic stability of her company/current job,  your age(s) to starting over elsewhere, the tax benefits between your current versus a more inexpensive home, and so much more. I am suggesting this list be developed and written as objectively as possible, and using different color pens will help you see each other’s points all the clearer.

Your primary challenge is not to be right, but to untangle the emotions from this situation, to make the best decision for your family together you know how.

More teamwork, less worry,

BadWitch

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Dear Worried Hubby,

There is more to moving than the bottom line. I get what your concerns are, and they are valid. However, I think you may be overlooking your wife’s concerns.

Yes, you can have more house, but your salary in this new place is not guaranteed. And the amount of that salary will probably be commensurate with the state, as opposed to what you are making now where you are. Also, you will have no support.  That may not seem like much now, but no one to ask for last minute help. No one to invite over for pizza, beer and communing that you know you can let down all your pretenses with and just hang. Babysitters, schools, friends will all have to be vetted again in the hopes of carving out a niche in a community you can really feel at home in. You are ready to make this leap, but my guess is, your wife may not be as ready to be cut adrift in a strange new place.

Perhaps you two can work out how you are both feeling about your options in a couple of lists. One lists is your pro and con list on moving, another is hers. The next list is ideas for making it work if you stay and she gets laid off. Another may be lists of possible job opportunities and starting salaries in the new state. Get a better sense of all the factors. Do you know % of joblessness in the new state vs. where you are? Do you know whether there are more jobs in your wife’s field or yours? Who will have an easier time finding new work?

Both of you should start applying to jobs—she should look where you are now and you should look in this new place. See who starts to get positive feedback. Maybe she finds work where you are now, doesn’t have to give up her community and you two don’t need to incorporate the chaos of moving into your lives. Or maybe you get some great results from your new job search and spark her interest. Seems like you both need more real world research to know what the best choice is.

I know you are worried and looking for the best possible outcome for your family. Trust that your wife is as well. Now, investigate so you can make decisions based on real world opportunities rather than unrealized fears. It’s the best way to put that worry energy to good use and limit regret.

Mantra: We both want what is best for the family. We will not react from fear, but from knowns. If we act together, we can make it through whatever changes are ahead because we are a family.

Happy researching,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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The Tao of Tipping

Servers live and pay the rent by tips. Not all servers are an automatic 15%. What’s the rule? — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — Do you recommend tipping 15% or by the level of service? My brother and I have fought over this at the table. Tipping Point

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Dear Tipping Point,

Come on now, people! Everyone knows American service industry folks work a usually hard and dirty tough job for next to or minimum wage to pay the rent — this means they’re clearly working for tips. Sure as with the rest of life, not all servers are created equal. But tips are not some charitable nicety you bestow on a lowly server from your station above when the generosity whim hits you. Unless your server is completely inept, rude, or otherwise not doing her/his job (then use your discretion), BadWitch says tip starting at 15%. Additionally, percentages are percentages, but if you happen to frequent small neighborhood buffets, diners or other inexpensive eateries more than you go to costly restaurants, maybe you might consider carefully weighing your number of visits to the level of service against the fact that these working people have to make it up with volume over big ticket size. Help a (good) server out!

Service is as service gets,

BadWitch

P.S. This fighting at the table thing…be the sort of diners you would like your servers to be on their side of the public (not your kitchen) table, and the whole eating out experience will likely be a lot more appetizing for everyone.

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Dear Tipping Point,

Gratuity should be based on your level of appreciation for the service received balanced by the knowledge that your waitperson has to pay their rent from your offerings. Get it. If you receive great service, where the waitperson has really contributed to the overall enjoyment of your meal—through personality, exceptional service, etc—why would you only leave 15%? Encourage that person to keep doing a great job by reflecting your appreciation in the tip: 20%, 30% or more.

Of course, now with service the service industry expecting customers to tip because the person put a scone in a bag because they pay their workers so poorly, the debate over tipping has only heated up. So, spend what feels right and affordable for you. It is a comment on the service, not a way to impress others with how much money you have or show how good you are to the help. It is a comment to say, “you did a great job,” or, well, we all know the other side of that coin.

Once I left a penny tip. Why? The waitress was rude, as hell, got my order wrong and then tried to make me feel like it was my fault. By the time she slapped the missing piece of my order on top of the same I-said-no-coleslaw-plate, I decided leaving her no tip would not truly reflect how much I did not enjoy her service. So I left her a penny. She threw it at me as I walked out the door. I caught it and said, “Thank you.”

That being said, I worked as a waitress throughout my college career and after. I used the money earned to pay for rent, books and food. I worked hard and tried to give people good service because I understood that I was a part of their lives for this little interval and could make their meal great or suck, if I so chose. My attitude almost always got me great tips. Yes, sometimes I was stiffed. Once a family ran out on a check. (Nice example for the kids, huh.) Another time, a patron yelled at me (he was not having a good day) and announced to the dining room he would not be leaving me a tip because of my incompetent service. I felt like crap, smashed a tray in the break room where no patrons could here and walked back out with a smile on my face. Every other table in my section left me a huge tip. One table told me straight up it was because that guy had been such a $#&% and I kept on rolling.

All this is to say, please tip your server if they give you good service. It is a difficult job that requires memory, stamina, multi-tasking abilities, good humor, PR, finessing the egos of the kitchen and coordination. It ain’t easy and base salary is almost non-existent. But when it is done well, it can make your meal pleasant and delicious. Isn’t that worth showing some appreciation for?

Love from a standard 20% tipper,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Vacation Worry for Single Business Owner

Sometimes it’s not that you feel like you’re the only one doing everything, if you’re a single business owner, you really are. Is a vacation too much of a leap for a one-person service provider?  — BadWitch

Don’t forget! After this week, GWBW is taking a break all August. Please RSS or EM subscribe now so you don’t miss our return.

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I’m a sole owner of an established service biz that does well, but when I go on vacation, I have to shut down for the week. This has been fine in the past, but with this crappy economy I’ve started to be more concerned about this and other coverage. Suggestions?Without a Plus One

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Dear Without a Plus One,

You worked hard to establish and grow your business, who you let fill-in for you is an important decision and shouldn’t be put off. It’s a bit like a lateral business succession. I suggest you start planning for. If you do a Big Picture, more-than-you-need-today sort of planning for your vacations or other absences, it will help you realize and/or recommit to your real vision, mission and values for your business, and the right person/people will make themselves obvious to you from within your field that I assume you are networking or otherwise working.

Chemistry counts. Once you’ve identified a person or two (try asking for recommendations, your industry’s features of movers and shakers, and related schools for candidates) you feel would be a good fill-in for you (similar ethics should be on the above list, as in not stealing your client), why don’t you try trading schedules/clients, and/or even working side-by-side (whatever this might look like in your unspecified service business) when you both can accommodate this, and when it doesn’t matter.

Now more than ever, when times are tough and you’re worried or more mindful of money, make sure to take a vacation (even a few long weekends count), give yourself a true break from thinking and being around the work. Refreshing and nurturing yourself is just as important an investment in your business as making the right choices for fill-ins.

Be smart, have more fun!

BadWitch

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Dear Without a Plus One,

Sounds like it’s time for you to weigh the pros and cons of hiring an assistant. What’s going to cost you more—payroll or week’s worth of income? Payroll or your ability to take a vacation or get sick without excessive worry.

Coverage for a business is about more than the lost week, actually. It’s about consistency for customers. If they know you’ll always be there, there is no need for them to look at one of your competitors for service. But, honestly being closed for a week may be just the leg up your competition needs to win some of your clients from you. Sure, you won’t lose all your steady customers, but some newbies may be won over by the competitions bells and whistles when you are not there to serve them at all.

Finding a good assistant means taking breaks when you need to without worry about shutting down the store. What kind of coverage do you have when you are sick? It is an investment, no doubt, but your hiring an employee may be just the thing to give you peace of mind so you can actually enjoy your vacation—sans worry.

Of course, you must be sure you hire the right person. Be sure they are competent, trustworthy and willing to accept a lower hourly salary. Family member or reliable friends may turn out to be the part-time employee you are seeking—or be able to suggest someone you can rely on.

Worry is a wasted emotion. I suggest looking for solutions. The answers are most likely much closer than you think.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.


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Boss Frustrates Worker. Workplace Bully to Blame?

Sometimes even our best work relationships undergo the challenge of communication. Making yourself heard properly at work.   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — My boss didn’t hear what I was really saying. He’s a one of the best bosses I ever had so I was blown away when he seemed to side with the person I complained about who is known around here as an aggressive loud mouth. Do you think I should approach him again or drop it and see what happens if I take his advice (to document this if it happens again and then see him then)? I guess I’m more frustrated than if it was just bad behavior because it concerns money. Seriously I feel like quitting.  Frustrated Frank

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Dear Frustrated Frank,

Don’t quit just yet! If you think your boss is one of the best you’ve ever had, then I think you owe it yourself to approach him one more time on this.

Your question rang a bell for me. There is a co-worker-on-co-worker complaint from my managerial past that I might handle very differently today. Even the most detached and observant manager can become distractedly wrapped up in external (market) circumstances and hear/perceive a complaint, such as yours, as one more pile up on his plate. Yes, Virginia!, even managers are human. It’s possible that if a complaint is highlighted differently, your manager could potentially avoid alienating a great worker by giving off the wrong impression that he doesn’t care. Given your usual positive feelings about him, I’m confident your boss would want to avoid losing you. Great team members are incredibly hard to come by, and that is a strong point for you to push: you are a good team player (and back it up specifically). In today’s down market, see if your boss is facing similar circumstances as I felt in the past. He possibly could do a lot better by the entire team, if you once more point out what you said here to us (that your frustration is higher because it concerns money — not frustrated personal stuff — an entirely legitimate matter for and of you that he can instantly recognize). Even if you think you said that to him or it should be obvious, try stating it differently and ask him if he understands your concerns. Get him to repeat your complaint to you. When you are satisfied that he does hear your real concern, then you will have to decide how you will live with his (new?) mandate. Documenting events in an office is always wise…for you.

On a very real flip side, I want to recognize that office bullying has replaced sexual harassment as the bane of the workplace. Here is one resource.

Work it, don’t quit it yet, Frank!

BadWitch

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Dear Frustrated Frank,

Well. You haven’t really given enough information for me to weigh in on the exact situation you encountered, but in this case it seems fair to weigh what you know of the individuals involved.

First, if you know your manager to be fair and level-headed, why do you doubt his ‘document, wait and report’ suggestion? Even though money is involved, what if your manager knows there is not enough evidence to make your case? In that case, the best thing that can be done is for you to document this incident, future “aggressive” behavior and report any repeat offenses. In that case, you and your manager are actually working together to resolve this situation for good.

It may also be true that though this “aggressive loud mouth” can be difficult to work with, there may be extenuating circumstances you are not aware of. Have there been other incidents? Is this person the only one with access and fingerprints on the money-concerning debacle? Is it possible that someone else maliciously or accidentally is responsible for the situation?

You know best of all, what the situation is. Do not mistake your manager’s usual level-headedness for friendship. This is not really about taking sides. It is about resolving the situation fairly. If you feel like your manager is treating you unfairly, document that too. It is only when you can show a pattern that you have a chance to make things right. Neither your manager, nor your manager’s supervisor is going to take a chance of litigation for wrongful termination. Document. Everything.

And, unless you have a job waiting for you, don’t make any impulsive decisions in this economic climate. An ass of a boss or coworker is actually not worth your solvency. Want revenge? Document. Report to your manager, possibly with a letter to his supervisor if you do not feel the manager handles the situation fairly and win. You have a legal case against the company if they terminate or bring disciplinary action against you for following up on your rights.

Take it slow. Document with dates, time and people present. Sometime patience wins the game. Good luck.

Keep breathing,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

Family Business Succession, Difference of Opinion

When you’ve worked hard all your life to build something meaningful, you think twice about just giving it away. Even to your own kids. When families are split on kids taking over the family shingle.    — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I’ve run a successful small business for nearly 25 years. I’m planning on retiring within the next five years. My oldest son seems to think I should automatically give him this business. While he’s worked hard for me during summers since he was 16, this is very different from being ready to step into a managerial role right now (he just graduated college). I want him to go work for someone else and learn there first, not take over mine. My wife and I disagree strongly on this.    — Elbow Grease

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Dear Elbow Grease,

My first Real Job was in the skin-toughening media industry, and I was quite a bit younger than most peers with the same title. Except…a guy last named Sherman. His father, he boasted to me, owned a reputable and thriving business that he had a burning itching to join and eventually run. He was reasonable but still lamented that his dad refused him (and hard) which was why he was now working with the likes of me…!

I agree with you, Elbow Grease. Your son will do well to apprentice (preferably somewhere else first — if for no other reason than objectivity of business lessons without family dynamics possibly obscuring his clarity) before prepping to take the reins of the family business, but as that’s not really the main issue I see here. You and your wife benefit from getting on the same page about this so that, ideally (being a family business), you can present a united front to your son. It’s possible she’s simply seeing his interests through her mother’s eyes rather than the business as a full blown enterprise that needs proper tending. Talk operational details to her, and if any, highlight those that your son’s experience level clearly isn’t to par on…yet. Barring unity on the issue, as it sounds like you actually run this business, you should gather your thoughts and present them rationally and if he’s truly serious about this endeavor, he will adapt just fine.

Effectively grandfathering into a leadership role of an established business takes more than just work hours. If your son can successfully navigate potential rejection, hard knocks in this market, disciplining and/or mentoring by an objective manager or two, then he will be far more equipped to learn the ropes and rise in your family business, and eventually possibly run it. There’s no telling a BadWitch that there’s any substitute for a strong work ethic, get-over-yourself/never-take-it-personally thick skin and pragmatic stamina in the work world, to build character, put one’s mind right about one’s place in the world and the biggest lesson of all — earning your reputation and everything you’ve got — humility. Then he’ll be ready to work/transition with you, because for him by then, the business will truly mean something more than a living, prestige or other immature view of such a blessed heirloom.

The old fashioned way,

BadWitch

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Dear Elbow Grease,

Though I appreciate your beliefs on children earning privileges and your commitment to hard work, I have to side with your wife on this one. It sounds like you’ve raised a son who is dedicated to the family business and who is no stranger to hard work. So, if you’re planning to retire and your son wants to take over, why would you want him to work for someone else to learn the ropes.

I understand that you have some trouble seeing him as a leader, as he is just graduating from college, but age alone does not distinguish one’s ability to run a business. CEOs come as young as 13 years old these days. Drive and determination are not defined by how old you are.

Your son has work experience. He wants to be involved in the family business. You are not retiring for 5 years. Why not spend those 5 years training him to take over your business. The work experience he would get from other companies will not be specific to your company’s needs. You have 5 years to give him specialized training on what he will need to know to run your company effectively after you have retired. Isn’t that better than having him work for another company for those 5 years and then trying to learn how to run your business years down the line without your guidance?

You have the opportunity to direct his training through the departments you believe he should have hands on experience. You can oversee his managerial style. You can work with him as he begins to see new ways to improve work flow through your business. You would have the opportunity to work through —with him—to manage how improvements are instituted. You have the opportunity to train the person who will carry on your family business. That seems like an opportunity that should not be ignored.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

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