Tag Archives: fun

Importance of Play. The Gravitas of Levity. (GW)

Who can say more about the importance of play! PLAY! It’s vital for children to learn, according to researchers and child psychologists. But what they fail to realize is the importance for adults. Play allows you to refill your energetic tank so you can have the wherewithal to do all the responsibility and care-taking things you do.

Play, laugh, sing: three necessary components for freeing up your spirit and restocking the energetic shelves. Doesn’t matter if you laugh so hard you snort or sing off key. What matters is that you have fun!

Lighten up people! This serious-all-the-time thing is just not good for you. Let your spirit be free. Just for a minute. You’ll feel better. — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.


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Importance of Play. The Gravitas of Levity. (BW)

I get a lot of grief for seemingly laughing at everything in life. Meanwhile, I view myself as responsible and grounded — so I’m all about this theme! Children’s brains develop and learn via play — and as my studies as a manager and someone who’s had success at long-term relationships of all types show, levity is the highest octane fuel to keep an engine a high-performing one. That good news means we seem to never outgrow the learning blocks of play and levity. Play and levity are the important stuff of living with clearer eyes/vision and sharper listening ability, emotional un-encumbrance (a.k.a. staying present, or say ancient hippy secret: Be Here Now), the spiritual emancipation of ego-slaying. Why take yourself so seriously? Others don’t. Those who don’t value the gravitas of play and levity in life tend to fall into this trap. If you drop your own self-importance: Who’s left to hear the engrossing whining? Take the blame? Point more accusatory fingers at?

Quoting my Brit comic twin (life view, that is) Ricky Gervais: “Whot? Are you havin’ a laugh?” Yes, more please! — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Dating Chat, Scared Bambi

When easy peasy natural chat reveals attraction and real date interest, deer in headlights syndrome can ensue. Dimming those high beams and safely crossing the road to fun.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — This is a dating question I think. When I meet new guys, I’m really relaxed and friendly and they ask me out because I’m pretty. My problem is I freeze up with the ones I really like when I realize its now a date kind of thing, and not just a chat up about nothing. Giveme some advice on how to relax and not change myself when I’m dating and not just being friends.Dating Doe

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Dear Dating Doe,

I think you’re onto something subconsciously because I’m not sure this is strictly a dating question, either. Do you feel like you have performance anxiety around other situations you assign importance to, like presentations or public speaking, or maybe tests if you’re still in school? Don’t just blow it off with an easy ‘no’ because your mind is primarily on the dating. Think about it and look for any patterns you may have.

When and if you do identify that you place more value over some situations than similar but less formal others (i.e, you are an A or B student at a subject but test at B- or C level frequently), then you could benefit from learning to let go of perfectionism and start practicing going with the flow and even — gulp! — “failing” a few times. Get the feel for Nike-ing it more often in life, and release yourself from the pressure of reacting like you have to turn in opening night-level Broadway performances all the time. Don’t stall (or reject) yourself when you realize you’re standing in the starting gate. If you feel you are likable and fun when you’re not trying to impress a guy, then try not impressing the next few, and pretend you’re chatting up an old familiar friend. This works equally well for tests, work presentations and public speaking, but you have to practice being yourself. To be comfortable in your own skin, you have to understand before you can own who you are.

Buddha say Relax,

BadWitch

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Dear Dating Doe,

OMG! That’s so cute!

OK, I totally get it, but why is it you know you are pretty, have a good rapport with guys in general and freak when you like them. Why would you suddenly decide you need to change who you are or act differently just to be liked? Here’s the deal, when you are just feeling friends with a guy you have no issues, right? You feel like you can be yourself and comfortable, because the balance of power feels even.

Now, then you decide you like a guy, seem to shift all the power over to him and then freak yourself out trying to be the kind of girl he will like. WHAT? He already likes you cause you were that cute, confident girls. Be yourself. That is what will attract him to you. But more importantly, take some time to check him out. Does he have what it takes to hang with you? Does he appreciate your sense of humor (key), your quirkiness and your goofy side? Realize that he must. If your relationship is going to make it past the first couple of dates, you have to be honestly yourself with him.

Take a deep breath. Realize he may not be the one, but he has a lot to teach you about being you in relationships. Decide to trust yourself enough to know you have an infinite amount of appeal by just being you. Then make the decision to trust him with seeing the whole you. That is the scary part. You must trust that this guy will see you and remain a gentleman. You must trust that he will not make you feel bad about who you are. But you know what? Even if he does, you are blessed! Because now you know this dude isn’t worth the time of day. You can kick him to the curb and keep rolling.

You have much to offer and by your question, I say at least part of you knows that. Let that part lead in this new world. Challenge yourself to show up for yourself like never before. Let yourself by seen so you can finally feel like you are a fully known quantity in a relationship. It will be freeing. It will be magnificent. It will be you, showing up as you for you.

Mantra: I’m good enough. I’m smart enough and I am awesome just as I am. I will be me for me, so that I can feel comfortable and seen in all my relationships. I will not hide to be liked. I am liked because I am free to be me.

Deep breath. Remember you rock. Now go,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Booster Shot: Team Building Fun

Not all team building activities need be forced, formal or make eyes roll. Having fun in the office together builds healthy bonding and productivity.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — What can I do to boost the morale of my team? I’m a supervisor who’s more hands-on with face time than our department manager who travels a lot and I know I can have her blessing if I present solid ideas. We actually have a pretty strong rapport but I want to keep them happy and engaged. Do you have any non-monetary ideas for a busy professional but not corporate environment.Booster Shot

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Dear Booster Shot,

I take your question seriously, but I think it’s cute. Make sure you do this more for your team’s morale than your own popularity and/or advancement, and whatever you do will be a sure-fire winner. The main suggestion I have for you is to put yourself in your team’s collective shoes and think like it does on most days. You know better than me what your professional environment is like and will/can tolerate, and more importantly…could use more of. So I say: make it fun, make it low-key and don’t over-think the thing — the more natural and spontaneous, the better. We used to improvise water bottle bowling with a random Nerf ball. We threw up a tape of something or other, spanning between a cubicle wall and the actual wall and limboed under it (be careful; those of us who participated were fit and not litigiously minded). Another of my offices consisted of several music lovers, so maybe something around a music trivia game would have been fun. Whatever we did, we did spontaneously, had a blast, and I never had to actually tell people (who only participated if they needed and wanted to) to get back to work, which they did willingly, refreshed, refocused and more productively than ever. After all that some people will need to hear this: yes, we booked multi-million dollars of business in this atmosphere. Occasional informal communal silliness can be a breath of fresh air especially in an office with windows that don’t open!

Group “hug,”

BadWitch

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Dear Booster Shot,

I love where your head is at! In this economy some managers completely forget the importance of boosting team morale for best product output. You have no idea how many people I’ve heard from who complain about bosses and managers threatening them, rather than inspiring best work.  Kudos to you!

OK, that said, answering your question, your attitude and wanting a warm, cooperative work environment has already gone a long way towards creating that environment. People can feel whether a manager is invested and willing to give back or not. Your willingness helps foster willingness in your employees.

Now, to keep that moving without capital investment, ask for feedback. Creative juice meetings designed for feedback on current projects or upcoming projects will help your staff to feel like valued members of the team. There is nothing worse than feeling like another meaningless cog in the wheel. When asked to participate with ideas and input on company projects, staff feel needed and important members of the team with something to offer. That is the best way to keep them invested.

Also, strangely enough food works wonders for making folks feel appreciated. I know, you want a no financial investment idea, but I gotta tell you, Friday morning bagels are a cost effective way to say, “You are appreciated.” It’s not something you need to do regularly, just a once in a while, “thanks for working so hard” gesture. And, further surprise, you’ll get much office gratitude for the food and the appreciation.

You know Booster Shot, I just have to say, you are doing a great job. Keep up the good work! (Felt good, right? Well, I meant it. Now pass that sentiment on to staff in the moment when they deserve it. They’ll feel it too.)

Mantra: My attitude affects work from the top down. If I am invested, appreciative and supportive of my staff, I inspire my staff to be invested, appreciative and supportive of  the team and our work environment.

Great job,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Couple, Activities-rich or Die Tryin’

Whether your relationship is seeking a party, His & Her hiking sticks, or a fellow home body can say a lot about you two.      — BadWitch


Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — My boyfriend wants us to go out all the time, but I’m happy home with him watching our favorite TV shows off the DVR. Suggestions for compromising please… — Couch Tater

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Dear Couch Tater,

To love someone isn’t always to like them. “Like” includes tangibles like having things in common, stage of life experiences/-ing, and admiring/enjoying someone’s qualities. Liking a person is often about the experiential – you know, bonding. There are sexy, friendly and intellectual activities — a lot depends on the stage your relationship is at.

Non-defensively, ask you b/f why he wants to constantly go out. If it leans more towards boredom — here’s a thought: boring people get bored — then you suggest alternating shared time together with your interests. But if he is trying to bond with you and you equally want to strengthen your relationship, you might have to make more of an effort in two areas: 1) actually getting up off your comfy booty and venturing outside, and/or 2) realizing men and women bond differently, neither wrong. Men “do” and women “talk” but neither in the same ways with the opposite sex as their own.

Here’s an activity to share together: each come up with a list of your own ideas (cooking class/homework, walk then TV; train or spa together; casual games; a romantic drive; fantasize then detail plan a realistic getaway together…) of fun and games, and then compare the two lists. Cross-reference for any commonalities, discuss to consider crossing off deal breaking no-ways, and then see if a theme emerges from the ones left over on your common list. That’s the thing, darlin’, looking for those commonalities.

Common not ordinary time,

BadWitch

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Dear Couch Tater,

Suggestions for compromise? Hello are you having some major time management malfunction? At its simplest form compromise in this situation is staying in one day of the weekend and going out the other. Or, like in my world sharing children, split the week in half and alternate weekends.

Come on, if you are two adults you should be able to work this out. “Honey, I don’ feel like going out tonight. Let’s stay in tonight and go out tomorrow instead.” Or “Baby, the big party night feels like Friday to me. Can we set that as blazin’ crazy night and make Saturday movie night?” Say what you need. Listen to what your partner wants. Write down both lists and agree upon where the middle is. He’ll give up Thursday night beer and poker to hang out around the house with you if you will throw on some makeup and a sexy outfit for Friday night on the town.

If our partner refuses to compromise and curb the party night, well, then you have a different issue. If your partner needs to be alcohol and partying to unwind after a long day, then counseling and support for substance abuse may be in order. However, if the issue really is time management and cooperation, if you can’t figure out how to say no to a night on the town or how to ask for your partner to stay in on occasion, your marriage has much bigger issues.

Listen, I understand preferring to be home, on the couch, in your sweats, under a snuggie. But marriage doesn’t mean you won the war and you don’t have to work so hard anymore. You want to stay happily married? Alternate the night on the couch with sexy surprises that suggest there is more fun at home than out in the world. Other nights, ask “where’s the party?” Grab life by the balls—whether it’s staying in or going out. Being a homebody can be fun. Being a hermit shouldn’t last forever, especially if you expect others to stay as shut-ins with you.

So, figure out where center is. Talk honestly and openly. Compromise. Collaborate and keep it fresh.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.