Tag Archives: girls

Match Point: Bringing Up Equal Girls, Boys

Are strong girls or enlightened boys more at the disadvantage? Raising Cain and April.  — BadWitch

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY! CHINESE NEW YEAR OF THE HARE

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — What an interesting blog you have. My question is this. Is it better to raise strong girls or enlightened boys? My friend and I debate this a lot and I think you’re doing a boy a disservice in our society if you raise him to be too sensitive to women’s equality. I’m not an anti-feminist, just the opposite and a die-hard since the 60’s. I don’t know if this matters in the least, but we’re both 64 and looking at our grandchildren. Power Nana

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Dear Power Nana,

Hmm, you’ve confirmed my previous suspicions that this is a generational thing. I was really surprised when I first heard this being debated in my early 20s, and it still surprises me as I’ve been afforded the ability to sustain my delusion that things have changed for the better in our society for both genders. My main suggestion is that you not project your own stereotypical gender biases on your grandkids.

Tow your (what I perceive is your real albeit conflicted) own line consistently, that both genders are better served when males are made more sensitive by being enlightened to other people’s challenges, and that independently strong girls are made even stronger when there are enlightened males around to attract and work/live with. They sound like Yin-Yang to me, as in physics, you can’t have one without the other. I don’t mean any of this in an idealistic Nirvan-y sort of way, but purely as (if you’re going to (attempt to) raise them with your consciousness) a logical extension of this thinking.

Raise them all up,

BadWitch

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Dear Power Nana,

I’m interested why you believe raising boys sensitive to the issues women face with inequality would be a disservice. To who? Listen, in this case you’ve got a boy that is sure to be popular with the ladies, may later lead an important charge regarding paycheck fairness or the equal rights amendment (that has yet to be ratified) and sees the world through the glasses of balance and respect. Where’s the issue?

I do believe that raising boys to be too overly sensitive, i.e. overly coddled is not at all a good thing. There is a great book called “Nurture Shock” by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman that talks about the issues for children unable to experience life’s little disappointments who later are unable to cope when big issues like job and family are on the table.

As the adults raising children it is important to instill them with the very qualities we hold dear. Our job is to help them become the incredible people they can be by giving them all the guidance we can—especially where it comes to fairness, equality and respect for all.

Teach them what you know. There future girlfriends and spouses will thank you for it.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Word! Deleting Slut & Ho from Our Vocabulary(inspiration)

“Slovenly language corrodes the mind.” ~ John Q. Adams

“We ought to esteem it of the greatest importance that the fictions which children first hear should be adapted in the most perfect manner to the promotion of virtue.” ~ Plato

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.


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Word! Deleting Slut & Ho from Our Vocabulary (GW)

Why are women calling women “bitch,” “whore” or if you’re from New Jersey, “whoo-ah?” Do you not realize that how you choose to see others is a reflection of how you see yourself. Critical, judgmental people tend to be very critical and judgmental of themselves. And guess what, the people who are loving and think the best of others, usually think the best of themselves. So what does it say that we choose to call a woman a slut because she is unashamed of her sexuality? Who are you to judge who she dates or how she dates. It is her life and her relationships.

But no, we throw these hateful, cutting terms at women hoping to cut their self-esteem. Hoping to inflict wounds so great that they question how they create relationships, how they live their lives. It’s fucked up, people. But most especially true when one woman does it to another. Beware the whiplash of karma when you know the level of pain you can inflict with your weapon and choose to do so willfully, without mercy and without remorse. — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.


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Word! Deleting Slut & Ho from Our Vocabulary (BW)

Words hurt — but only if you let them. I’m a staunch believer of the playground wisdom, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” to this day. Yet it is undeniable that words are powerful. One of my favorite pieces I wrote ‘Don’t Be A Pussy’ was about the harmful effects of the ubiquity of misogynistic, negative slang phrases. My rant is easily extendable to abating words like Slut, Whore and ‘Ho from our vocab because, while used obviously derogatorily, they are more dangerously ubiquitous. When we are so familiar with a thing that we no longer see it, hear it, or are aware of its true meaning anymore, is when it has an insidious power to do its deepest damage to our individual psyches, our collective culture — because this negative slam-slang is just accepted as a fact or a truism. But I am a Big Picture seer: when female power and the word “vagina” are cute-isized and made non-threatening as hoochie, vajayjay, and other dumbed down terms, it’s hard to avoid recognizing a pattern of misogyny and the fear of female power still runs deeply in our society, culture, and most of the world at large even in the 21st century. Hillary Clinton at this year’s TED Women’s Conference on The Empowerment of Women & Girls: “We need to reach out to faith leaders and community leaders to change the perception and treatment of girls, and to persuade men and boys to value their sisters and their daughters, their talents and their intrinsic worth.”Words are powerful. As I say at my zen pop culture blog, “Use your power for good” by: 1) Knowing who you are; 2) don’t give fear of other’s opinions (just words) of you the power to paralyze or stunt you; and 3) shed a light on or speak out against ignorance whenever you hear it as a “that’s how everyone talks”-ism. No it isn’t.

How do you feel about words like “bitch” and “’ho” used interchangeably for “women” or “girls”? Do you talk about this with your daughters?  — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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