What Kind of Girl Are You? First off, do NOT lament, dude-arinos. This has not turned into a blog for women, by women. This is what it’s like to have to line up just to use the restroom. Live it. Learn it. We’ll be right back with you shortly. [But we do recommend you read this in case you have ever known at least one woman in your lifetime.]
What a girl wants, what a girl needs…may not be the same thing. Apparently many, many of us (and now I’m talking straight to you, sistah girls) are still “transitioning” from Donna Reed to That Girl! to Hilary Clinton (set your politics aside and just take the metaphor, will ya?). It’s a lot like that ridiculous question basically only a male store sales person would even come up with to ask us when we can’t decide on Purchase A or Purchase B, or to buy it at all?, “Do you really need it?” Usually, that is my cue to say, “Need? I don’t need anything. I want it…” Beyond shoes and bags, let’s see if we can differentiate between those two biggies here.
Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…
Dear Witchie Poos – As a Thinking Woman, I’m always thinking. Here are a few recent gems that popped up. Can you help a sister out? 1)How do I survive in a society that sees people as props and not as humans with a heart? 2) How do I not get jaded in this type of society? 3) How do I get guys to like me for me and not for what sexual favors I can do for them? – Girl and the Cruel City, Beverly Hills, CA
Historically, society has repeatedly sidelined some group, for one ridiculous reason or another. OK, usually for status, money or power. But despite these limitations, these groups continue to move forward and make strides. Dig deep into the essence and truth of who you are and bring that to the table. Hell, it got Obama all the way to the White House. Bring back your optimism and faith. Sure, watching shows like Millionaire Matchmaker can make you believe all guys are shallow age-ists looking for big boobs and flat-ironed hair. But we all know men who don’t fit into that category. Remind yourself of the people you have known personally who have more depth than a puddle. Remind yourself that there are people out there looking for substance. Buoy your faith so you can picture a better possibility. The second thing is to review your own attitudes on your attractiveness. Have you been judging yourself by Hugh Hefner’s view of pretty? (Because, frankly, that’s plastic, not pretty.) Listen, we’ve all known that girl or guy who is not very attractive, but has everyone looking at them like their supermodels. How? They believe it. They allow their full personalities to shine—from the inside out. They are radiant with confidence and self-approval…and believe me, there is nothing more attractive than that. Let go of any limiting beliefs about what kinds of relationships are possible for you. If I may quote Benny Ninja from “America’s Next Top Model,” “If you don’t have the confidence, no one is going to buy what you’re selling.” In short, if you believe you’re hot and you act like you are hot, people will think you are hot. But more importantly, you will take the risks and put yourself out in new ways and probably new venues and then, who knows, maybe your White House.
Life and relationships are all about stages. And I don’t mean the kind you perform on…I have a feeling you’re more comfortable on those. Having said that, ya notice how your shows go better when you start out with a plan? You may not have every word scripted out, but you know the general direction you want to head…and take your audience, your self. Love and sex and life are much like that show. And what may have worked for a girl in her 20s will not likely work for her in her 40s. I’m just sayin’: stages. Carmelized sweet cheeks, you are going to have to figure out what you want out of your life NOW (wherever and whenever you are) and start acting accordingly. If you treat yourself as a prop at the wrong stage of life, you’ll find yourself way, way off Broadway soon, and not knowing why the fast curtains from Those Who Criticize! But if you take a bigger, bird’s-eye view of your life, and where you want to be, who you want to be in it (so when you visualize them, attract them, already!), and how you will confidently and full of sparkling stars and life, account for your lifetime’s actions to your 80-year old lady self, then and only then, darlin’, will you know it’s YOU who you brought to the party. YOU are your only Plus One who counts in the end (and the beginning and middle…). Oh, and it’s perfectly legit (not to mention straight up SMART) to fake it till you make it. Also known as Practice Makes Perfect.
Love yourself first, always, but not only,
PS Cruelified Girl, if you’re all smarting rather than actually smart and really, really don’t know who you are today, just pop this simple pill of a Cosmo Quiz – What Kind of Female Are You.
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