Tag Archives: happy

What a Girl Wants…Batteries Not Included

batteries

What Kind of Girl Are You? First off, do NOT lament, dude-arinos. This has not turned into a blog for women, by women. This is what it’s like to have to line up just to use the restroom. Live it. Learn it. We’ll be right back with you shortly. [But we do recommend you read this in case you have ever known at least one woman in your lifetime.]

What a girl wants, what a girl needs…may not be the same thing. Apparently many, many of us (and now I’m talking straight to you, sistah girls) are still “transitioning” from Donna Reed to That Girl! to Hilary Clinton (set your politics aside and just take the metaphor, will ya?). It’s a lot like that ridiculous question basically only a male store sales person would even come up with to  ask us when we can’t decide on Purchase A or Purchase B, or to buy it at all?, “Do you really need it?” Usually, that is my cue to say, “Need? I don’t need anything. I want it…” Beyond shoes and bags, let’s see if we can differentiate between those two biggies here.

– BadWitch


Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear Witchie Poos – As a Thinking Woman, I’m always thinking. Here are a few recent gems that popped up. Can you help a sister out? 1)How do I survive in a society that sees people as props and not as humans with a heart? 2) How do I not get jaded in this type of society? 3) How do I get guys to like me for me and not for what sexual favors I can do for them? – Girl and the Cruel City, Beverly Hills, CA


Dear Girl,

Historically, society has repeatedly sidelined some group, for one ridiculous reason or another. OK, usually for status, money or power. But despite these limitations, these groups continue to move forward and make strides. Dig deep into the essence and truth of who you are and bring that to the table. Hell, it got Obama all the way to the White House. Bring back your optimism and faith. Sure, watching shows like Millionaire Matchmaker can make you believe all guys are shallow age-ists looking for big boobs and flat-ironed hair. But we all know men who don’t fit into that category. Remind yourself of the people you have known personally who have more depth than a puddle. Remind yourself that there are people out there looking for substance. Buoy your faith so you can picture a better possibility. The second thing is to review your own attitudes on your attractiveness. Have you been judging yourself by Hugh Hefner’s view of pretty? (Because, frankly, that’s plastic, not pretty.) Listen, we’ve all known that girl or guy who is not very attractive, but has everyone looking at them like their supermodels. How? They believe it. They allow their full personalities to shine—from the inside out. They are radiant with confidence and self-approval…and believe me, there is nothing more attractive than that. Let go of any limiting beliefs about what kinds of relationships are possible for you. If I may quote Benny Ninja from “America’s Next Top Model,” “If you don’t have the confidence, no one is going to buy what you’re selling.” In short, if you believe you’re hot and you act like you are hot, people will think you are hot. But more importantly, you will take the risks and put yourself out in new ways and probably new venues and then, who knows, maybe your White House.

GoodWitch

==

Dear Cruellafied,

Life and relationships are all about stages. And I don’t mean the kind you perform on…I have a feeling you’re more comfortable on those. Having said that, ya notice how your shows go better when you start out with a plan? You may not have every word scripted out, but you know the general direction you want to head…and take your audience, your self. Love and sex and life are much like that show. And what may have worked for a girl in her 20s will not likely work for her in her 40s. I’m just sayin’: stages. Carmelized sweet cheeks, you are going to have to figure out what you want out of your life NOW (wherever and whenever you are) and start acting accordingly. If you treat yourself as a prop at the wrong stage of life, you’ll find yourself way, way off Broadway soon, and not knowing why the fast curtains from Those Who Criticize! But if you take a bigger, bird’s-eye view of your life, and where you want to be, who you want to be in it (so when you visualize them, attract them, already!), and how you will confidently and full of sparkling stars and life, account for your lifetime’s actions to your 80-year old lady self, then and only then, darlin’, will you know it’s YOU who you brought to the party. YOU are your only Plus One who counts in the end (and the beginning and middle…). Oh, and it’s perfectly legit (not to mention straight up SMART) to fake it till you make it. Also known as Practice Makes Perfect.

Love yourself first, always, but not only,

B.W.

PS Cruelified Girl, if you’re all smarting rather than actually smart and really, really don’t know who you are today, just pop this simple pill of a Cosmo Quiz – What Kind of Female Are You.

Hear the coaches – Podcasts coming. Talk to the coaches! –  Personal and group coaching available.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

Shh!, Listen to Your Inner iPod

ipodSometimes when things get crazy, unstable, or we don’t know where the floor is — like these unprecedented financial times — we tend to forget everything we ever knew and found comfort in, and start floundering. We blame to make things make some sense. We want to reinvent the wheel. The trick is not to sink into the fog of this hopelessness but to STOP. When things get bumpy or otherwise overwhelming, don’t take your hands off the wheel, drift and ride onto the shoulder and end up KINK! KAPOW! CRASH!, bending your frame. Stop then listen. What is your Inner Voice, your compass that’s served you so well over the years (and if yours hasn’t, honey, listen then just do the opposite!) telling you you NEED right now? Today? Stop, listen, now have the courage to FOLLOW your own inner wisdom of quiet.

So listen already,

BadWitch


Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear BadWitch – My parents were hippies during the early sixties. Can I get financial compensation for that? – Hippie Dipped, Sydney, AUS


Oh, Hippie Dipped!

I can understand your lament. However, by your age and now into the 21st century, you have to learn to earn your own compensation by making your own way in life and stop blaming the ‘rents. That means releasing some of what the parental units taught you that doesn’t resonate for you…but that you very likely perpetuate through old, dusty internal dialogue…this is you just holding yourself back. I’ll poach something your Hippie parents would probably say, “Go with the flow, man!” This time, make it YOUR flow. If you’ve got no one to talk to, but especially if you do!, journaling helps you discover (or recover) your what works or doesn’t work for you, and…sometimes this little mousy voice. Yours. Stop the blaming a little more every day, and trusting yourself will come just the same way.

Big group hug,

BW

==

Dear BadWitch – I am at a loss as to what is a good solution to retirement savings at this point. I feel that I do not trust many institutions or the advice given by “professionals” as to what is a safe bet for the future. I feel somewhat in limbo. Part of me wants to invest and help the economy and the other part says just stick with the mattress. – Mattresszonia, Ogden, UT


Dear Mattresszonia,

Darling! You’re not alone. Know that I am a I Believe in America! girl, who points out: If Warren Buffet’s company stocks took a 62% hit during those crazy last weeks, then what is this world coming to, right? Looks to me like Mr. Buffet is recommending we stay the course. I recommend this sort of “staying” in general, in life. If you have ever invested in the stock market, then you know it is mostly about your own comfort level. So go get (if you haven’t already) your little wringing fingers on one of those Investment Risk Tolerance questionnaires Investment Risk Tolerance questionnaires (like Rutgers’ at http://njaes.rutgers.edu/money/riskquiz/) and take the darn thing. See if you are a Conservative, soap sliver-saving Sally, or a balance-loving Centrist who treads the yellow dotted line in the middle of the road, or a Vegas-bound crapshooter willing to throw all caution to the wind for a guaranteed thrill return. Then see if that’s how you have been decision making and behaving all these years leading up to this national ID crisis (every once in a while, it’s good for ya, so keep asking yourself till you bore yourself with that Duh! moment) Back to your financial question, for those literalists who need it pointed out that I haven’t actually strayed from it…

I’m not a financial expert* nor play one on my blog, so I won’t ask you to pay off your debts first given our current climate, consider your age to retirement, or debt-to-credit ratio-type of drill downs, instead this life coach is asking you to consider the tally between your head and heart. Which has been winning that race over the last decade? Overall, has that race been mostly a “win” or “loss” for your gut over that time period? You may find that the sheet you most need to balance is not on top of that bury-it-under-the mattress option, but the one where you are investing in yourself (on all the levels that is possible), which will have you supporting the economy…and ultimately funding your fabulous, putter-wielding, rockin’ old retirement self.

Reconcilingly yours,

BW


* This blog makes no claim or representation of financial expertise. This blog is for informational and entertainment purposes only, and is presented on an As Is basis.

Hear the coaches – Podcasts coming. Talk to the coaches! –  Personal and group coaching available.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

BadWitch: Finding Optimism

roadjourney

Be optimistic during times of strife and stress? What are you thinking?! And even if you are a Half-Full kind of person, doesn’t the Sybil in you just want to ask: yeah, but full of what? If this is you, click yes and keep reading me. For the rest of you, keep reading me.

Some people are tempted to be smarmy about “optimism,” but the quest for this quality during challenging times doesn’t have to be a ridiculous, trifling or an, um…optimistic ideal. I solidly believe in this esoteric idea: we already know everything we need to know to be happier, centered and highly functioning in life. All we have to do is to remember what we dreamed to live our largest life possible. See?, now that is the ridiculously challenging quest! But I believe in you.

Parse the smoke and mirrors. During times like these when financial pundits, foreign policy experts, and Joe the Plumbers alike espouse “never seen anything like this before”-isms freely and regularly on CNN, FOX News and other squawk boxes 24/7, the trick to surviving the mess with less stress isn’t “knowing what to do,” but rather “how to (think).” The problems are still going to be there whether you know what to do about them or not. I’m not saying shirk your responsibilities; just stop worrying about worrying, and start thinking right.

The trick to remembering your “how to (thrive)” is focus. Right focus. Right focus, even through all the distractions, external and the noise you bring. Devil’s playground, and all… Best to practice shutting your own mind trap first. The rest of the din grows surprisingly quieter soon after. Discipline your child, discipline your mind.

Optimism is just another goal. A choice. What you think and the choices you make are the difference. Be the Optimism you want to see, grasshoppa. Redirect all that thinking at your Big Picture, not the petty, annoying or worrisome details you usually allow 95% of your brain cache. Garbage in, garbage out, yes? Then once you’re focused on your Big Picture, you have a place to go, a.k.a. a destination. Now, I know everyone loves to get all Joseph Campbell-y about “the journey” and I’m a JC believer like that, too!, it’s true, life is a journey not the destination. But that’s not always how our silly big ole Humunkie minds work, darlin’s. Switch it up. Right focus on the Big Picture of the life quality you came here to create for yourself, then go all Nike action plan and just do it. And then get up and try again the next and next day…

So I’ll ask you again: What are you thinking? It’s as simple and hard as that. Attaining a lasting inner peace, especially when tested during loud, thin, false distraction-laden and hard times like these, takes practice. The practice of conscious intentions (Big Picture) and right focus (the daily walk of your talk). Practice is what we all do between birth and death. With any luck, we’ve all got a lot of practice to do, so better get offline and…just start wherever you are.

Hear the coaches – Podcasts coming. Talk to the coaches! – Personal and group coaching available.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.