Tag Archives: gifts

Ring Ring! Valentine’s Day or Not, Does Size Matter?

Thoughtful boyfriend grapples with question of engagement ring around the finger. — BadWitch

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, LOVAHS OFF ALL STRIPES!

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I am planning to ask my girlfriend to marry me on Valentine’s Day. I’m a very practical guy and won’t give her the real ring so she can pick the perfect one herself. I love her a lot but she is more materialistic than me. I’m just curious what you gals think about rings. Does size matter? My sister says those big gawdy rocks are so 90’s? What really matters to you girls? Rocky

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Dear Rocky,

As a pragmatic jewelry lovin’ femalista, sounds like I’m a combo of the two of you. As you suspect of your girl, I would want to pick my own ring (after all, gotta live with that decision!), but I can imagine my far more girlie-girl girrlz thinking that your thoughtful engagement scenario was feel incomplete, lacking something, without the old rock to anchor the space fully. Tiffany and other jewelers will “give” you a classic round cut solitaire for the question popping, so you can later bring in your fiancé for her personalized selection (if she wants to). Here’s more practical advice, pick a trade-in ring in the price range you can actually afford to spend ultimately, to manage her expectations up front. This is my absolute No Brainer recommendation, so you can both “be completed.”

Rings, as with all extremely personal jewelry items, are a matter of individual choice, comfort level, age and finances. So while it’s true that my opinion is extremely important to uninterrupted planetary revolution, it doesn’t mean anything to your girlfriend’s preferences. So I’ll just further share that time matters and space is not always contextual: my perfectly beautiful, decent carat-sized custom ring now looks too small to me, but I haven’t gained a pound. Hee.

Congrats and 4-C’s up!,

BadWitch

P.S. As pragmatic as I am, don’t forget to make this special day the smooshy, sexy-crazy-fun experience that best reflects you two! How do you think this fun-loving pragmatism has been married so long?

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Dear Rocky,

Every girl is different. If you haven’t seen the ridiculous rocks dawning newly engaged celebrity fingers, you’ve clearly been avoiding the size-ist leaning of the rich and famous. Heck, Chad Ocho Cinco spent $10,000 on a designer diamond “friendship” ring for his Dancing with the Stars co-star Cheryl Burke.

Now, that said, I don’t think every girl expects a $10,000 diamond ring, but the expected engagement ring cost is 2 months worth of salary. Though not every woman wants a huge rock that is more cocktail ring than everyday wearable, size does matter to some extent. Remember, this ring is a sign of your love, asking her to spend the rest of her life with you. Let’s be clear, now is not the time to send a message that you will be cheap with her for the rest of your life.

Set your budget. Definitely make a trip to Jewelry Exchange or some equivalent that will let you pay less for more diamond. Then shop and enjoy. This is a sign of your love. If it’s in your budget, let your love shine—diamond style!

Congratulations and best wishes for a long life of love,

GoodWitch

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Image: Honey Conversation Heart Ring

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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UPDATED Bottomless Office Pit: Cake, Gifts & Money Collection

Money collection for office gifts, cakes. Funding co-worker celebrations. Fun, yummy, good or bad idea?  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — If I never have another slice of office birthday cake, I’d live! These constant money drives for other people’s gifts has gotten on my last nerve. Yesterday (she) asked me for money for someone’s baby shower gift in our Utah office who I never even met! This is nuts, crazy, just wrong!!! Give me some good lines.  — Cham-pain Hater

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Dear Cham-pain Hater,

I love cake, I love presents — for me! — so I hear ya, but figure out and clearly state your policy for all to understand about you, and stick with it.

Back in college while working at a major department store, my manager came around at Christmas time to ask for donations to an equally major charity. Coincidentally, this charity had been in the news for administrative financial abuse to fund schmancy lunches and lavish personal travel, and such. I was already consistently giving to an organization of my choice, so when she first asked then attempted to strong-arm me for my hard-earned money (mockingly, “What?! You can’t even give up a dollar?”) — her attitude alone underscored to me that she was only pimping to win a department managers’ contest. That manipulative sort of crap only served to make me stand even firmer in my convictions and state, “Nope. Especially not “even” a dollar.” I freely give to what truly stirs me, and not to earn kiss ass points with a manager competing in a peer contest for a personal gain prize, via my dollars while supposedly campaigning for a charity I didn’t even believe in.

Knowing what you stand for lets you know what you want to fund in life, and keep the change from the rest in your own wallet. In the game of office politics, only give when you expect nothing in return (never give a present to get a present, whether retail or brown-nose points), or all you’ll get is disappointment. Nothing more bitter than a low-carb flourless cake of guilt and shame.

Do-goodahs, pleeeze,

BadWitch

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[No, your RSS and e-Mail subscriptions are not broken. Here’s GW’s added Reply.]

Dear Cake-Champain Hater,

Truth works better than any excuse you can come up with! I would start by asking for a general pool with once yearly contribution (say $20) that is split for all employee presents, like a Christmas Club. I have heard of employees being asked to give $20 a month for other employee gifts. Maybe a $10 a month fund for cake and office morale isn’t asking too much.

My question is, as an employee, don’t you appreciate when your birthday is noticed?  Isn’t that an unrecognized benefit of your work environment? It sounds like you’ve got an office that has taken the time to create a more family like environment. This makes for a comfortable place to work. Believe me, not all offices give a damn whether it’s your birthday, wedding or baby—just do the work.

It is really nice to be appreciated. Your office culture has found a way to give each other recognition of the lives lived outside the cubicle walls. Say thank you and throw in $10. If money is really tight right now, tell your co-workers that truth. They’ll appreciate it. Then throw in $2 or $3.

Family may be a pain in the ass sometimes with their little rituals, but that is the good stuff you remember and appreciate years later. Quit bitching and have some cake.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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