Tag Archives: emotions

Gratitude: Lots of Thanks (inspiration)

Hoping your Thanksgiving was lovely, warm and delish. — BadWitch

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” ~ William Arthur Ward

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.” ~ Anthony Robbins

“He who can give thanks for little will always find he has enough.” ~ Unknown

“Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job.” ~ James A. Lovell

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Gratitude: “Thank You Very Much” (GW)

For some reason this year, starting just before Halloween, we seemed to be on some mad rush to Christmas — the season of the “GIMME!!!” Yes, I understand the economy needs to see some serious spending from us and, yes, Mercury retrogrades starting Black Friday, so from an astrological stand point, major purchases should be avoided. However, skipping the appreciation for the Season of Thanks, says volumes more about our lack or appreciation for all we currently have.

Thanksgiving is the time to reflect on all that we are grateful for. Why is this important? Because it allows us to take a moment in the present to take stock of all we have created in our lives. It is a time of taking stock of what really works in our lives — a chance to focus on what is right. This builds optimism! This builds personal appreciation! Gratitude is a foundational building block to happiness.

So before you rush to look at your life to see what is missing so you can put it on your Christmas Wish List, take a moment to breathe. Be grateful for strong lungs that can take in and process air without strain or pain. Not everyone is so fortunate. Take a moment to reflect on those you have had the pleasure and good fortune to love and those who love you. Give good fortune for the eyes to read these simple words and the brain capacity to understand it. Give thanks because no matter the challenges in your life, you are alive and that means you have the blessing of another day to make a new start.

Namaste — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Gratitude: “Thanks a Lot!” Gracious or Ungracious? (BW)

Calling all Negative Nellies! Let’s tawk gracias, danka, merci. This week our entire nation stops everything, supposedly, to give thanks. Yet I’ve recently heard it sarcastically being referred to as The Season of Dysfunction (which, FYI, all families aren’t) — so will your specific brand of gratitude be genuine or adding to the dysfunction at a food table near you? A wise woman once told me that it is the mark of a small person who doesn’t (or can’t) say “Thank you,” and “Sorry.” Given that, this not a trick but certainly a tricky question: Is it easy or difficult for you to say “Thank you!” when and only when you mean it?

If gratitude is generally difficult for you to recognize or feel, I’m guessing it’s hard for you to take a (genuine) compliment or genuinely say thank you, in return. If this is you, stop, then start to grudgingly list whatever you feel, eh!, pretty good about: 1) your fuzzy high maintenance pets; 2) OK not horrible weather; 3) pretty good health; 4) old but running car; 5) boring job that pays the bills. Next, notice how those things make you feel: 1) being needed; 2) feeling less put out; 3) superiority that you’re not as sick as some; 4) lucky because of mobility; 5) good to be able to cover your basic needs. Lastly, give up some warm fuzzies for the next, higher level of that gratitude, you know, the stuff that’s even bigger than you — I am grateful for: 1) (pet) unconditional love in my life; 2) (weather) elevates my mood; 3) (health) being able-bodied is freedom and true wealth; 4) (car) any and all working transportation makes life easier and that’s more enjoyable; 5) (job) safety and some sanity makes me lucky!

Your BadWitch is an eternally optimistic non-Pollyana — I’m a fervent believer in the middle way. You can be grateful and say Thank you!, without being a sappy, vulnerable, or otherwise weak target. You know how great it makes you feel when someone thanks or acknowledges you — babycakes, when you give more, you get more. Gratitude is simply good for your health and wellbeing. Do it for you. No! Thank you.

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Giving Thanks for Life’s Major Disappointments

How do we get over losing something that has represented our life’s pinnacle?Learning lessons and beginning to turn the juice back on.   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — How do I deal with not getting something I’ve been working towards all my adult life? That’s almost 15 years of working on this goal, focusing on making it happen and now I find my dream is gone (it’s not a job or a relationship). All that time and energy wasted. Any thoughts on getting my “juicy” back as you call it? I’m angry, sad, low energy, all of it. — Unplugged

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Dear Unplugged,

Disappointment is an unleashed bitch. Managing our expectations is a typical (avoidance) response and has its place, but it’s disappointment’s lesson task mistress aspect that we should run towards, embrace and be grateful for. In other words: Opportunity! Drill down truthfully to see what you are actually feeling embittered about — it’s not usually The Thing — is it the “time wasted,” or the “recognition not given,” or “unrewarded hard work.” Look for the lessons. What of this situation has you most hopped up and hot under the collar? You also describe suffering from the low energy of depression. What part of this makes you feel that way automatically when you merely hear the word? Your core lesson about this major life disappointment lies within it, if it doesn’t outright go by that label.

Embrace what your true disappointment really says about who you are today. Learn so you don’t have to repeat the same old theme lessons, different day, Groundhog Day, but rather build the strength of learning to move on!, self-promote…to the next new disappointment or “problem.” That’s how life actually lived actually works, Unplugged.

Thankfully we’re all students,

BadWitch

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Dear Unplugged,

Coping with disappointment is one of the hardest and most consistent issues humans must learn to deal with in this 3-D existence.

I am sorry that you have found your dream is gone, but that is just the very specific outcome of the dream you wanted. Sometimes the Universe has bigger things in store for you. For example, perhaps a woman has always dreamed of being a famous actress. She sees herself winning awards and receiving huge acclaim for her acting abilities. This is her dream. She works hard for this dream, taking acting lessons, moving to a city that has more opportunities and going to countless auditions thinking each one could be her lucky break. But her lucky break never comes. She feels her dream is lost.

In order to make a living for herself she begins teaching her own acting classes. Her style is unique and she develops a large following. She trains countless actors who go on to define a generation. She has trained the celebrated, the acclaimed and the award-winners.

Did she really lose her dream or was the Universe’s dream bigger?

In your case, you have put time and effort into your dream. What have you learned in the process? Who have you met, befriended  and loved during your journey?

We cannot know where our destiny lies. We can only know the road we have traveled and the gifts we have been given along the way. It is true that you requested the gift I the polka dot box with the pink ribbon. Will you refuse to see the other gifts you are given? Somewhere beneath the regret and disappointment is the truth of lessons learned and experiences gained. Somewhere, when you focus on the gratitude, you will find a diamond. Perhaps it is wrapped in blue paper with a polka dot ribbon.

In other words, even as you mourn the loss of your dream, as you wanted it, realize another gift lies just beyond the recrimination and it has been waiting for you all the time. Be grateful for all the little gifts you have found along the way and you’ll start to see the outline of a new dream coming into focus. It may not swell your heart with the passion you felt before, bt it has the capacity to give you great joy—if you let it.

Breathe. Count your blessings. They are more abundant than you are allowing yourself to see.

Gratitude is the attitude of abundance,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Willingness vs. Obligation (inspiration)

“Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles, and kindnesses, and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort.” ~ Humphrey Davy

“Do your duty today and repent tomorrow” ~ Mark Twain

“Being willing makes you able.” ~ Rhonda Britten

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life.  But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.  Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”  ~Fr. Alfred D’Souza

“No man is free who is not a master of himself.”  ~Epictetus

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.


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Addicted to Love: Buffy the Slayer…of Exes

Just as old music videos and TV series hold a fun and retro charm, they’re not reflective entertainment of who you are today. Not toying with people’s hearts, either.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — In college I was engaged to this guy. Then I decided I was way too young to be that serious and broke it off with him as nicely as I knew how, but he was still heartbroken and took a long time to get over me. Well he just showed up again 7 years later, I was stupidly weak, between boyfriends and started it up again. I guess I just felt lonely and this was there, so easy. Now I’ totally regretting this. How do I break up with this nice guy again? —Guilty Feet

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Dear Guilty Feet,

Honey, you need to buy a vowel and solve the puzzle of what you want in relationships — and stop using other people as convenience appliances for your amusement. It’s clear your ex-/current/ex-/current b/f is not like me, because I’d never allow someone to push and pull me as you have him over the years, so it’s very likely he won’t appreciate my answer any more than I expect you will. Yet, I manage to continue. Very simply: you both will benefit from identifying and acknowledging that whatever it was that was so great back in the day is over (developmentally), and if it is not, it’s still not the same warm-fuzzy relationship you had as kids because you’re not the same people today. Seven years completes one cycle of personal growth and living (if nothing else, physically you don’t have the same hair, skin or…heart!). Move on, both of you. This hanging on, fall-back default is not a healthy way to have relationships (for different yet co-dependent reasons of both of you), and hey, Guilty Feet?, you will benefit from working on getting over your need for blind adoration. That will be the best thing you can do for this “nice guy” once and for all.

Time for a new dance,

BadWitch

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Dear Guilty Feet,

Well, it’s complicated. First thing I’m going to say is, “STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!” You said you would date the guy again, not commit to bearing his children. You tried again, admirable. You had the courage to see if there was something still there. Now you know there is an end date. Don’t blame yourself because this is not a long-term relationship. Take a deep breath and figure out how to let him down easy.

Realize that he may be a nice guy, but don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into staying in the relationship. Verbal abuse and emotional manipulation that make you responsible for his happiness is just not ok.  He is a grown man who must learn to deal with disappointment—whether in relationships, career or other situations. That is life.

Your job is to be sure to be compassionate. You two have a relationship and history, which does not mean that just because your romantic relationship is ending all communications and friendship has to end with it. Be honest and straight-forward and communicate your intent to end the romantic portion of your relationship.

Let him know that he is a good person. Let him know that you do not like disappointing him and that although some of the hurt may be inevitable, there is light at the other side of this juncture. Compassion is king. Here are some tips on how to do the break up thing, but really first forgive yourself for the last time. Doing what is right for you will sometimes leave others with hurt feelings. It is inevitable. You cannot make everyone happy all the time. Forgive yourself, be truthful with him and do what has to be done before the infection of resentment sinks in.

The truth will set you free,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Willingness vs. Obligation (BW)

I have a lifelong policy of banning “obligation” from my life. The action bit of that noun, I mean. As a hyper-responsible type, I’m not worried this might lead me to confusion of becoming reckless or neglectful of what needs to get and be done in my life. I just want to avoid becoming bitter and/or going numb. Simply put, my criteria for doing things that are required in life are I: 1) need to for survival (i.e., bill paying); 2) want to (pay extra for eating out); or 3) have a passion to (create, share or help expand someone or –thing, or my capacity/self). As a result, my energy that goes into doing a thing because of either of those categories is positive, if not downright peacefully easy and light.

But even all good, enduring philosophies do not go untested in life. After all, that’s what we (literally) live for: to learn lessons. What to do when life throws you the inevitable tests that make you want to run and hide from a responsibility, or throw things, preferably messy breakables? Find your own personal mantra (I have repeated, “There for the grace of god go I,” — uhhm, quite a lot) and if the going gets really tough, I find the best method of embracing something while tamping down your own discordant ego is to jump for joy and say out loud(ly) how much you are grateful for doing this thing, for example, “I am so blessed to have X in my life to (manage/take care of/pay for, etc)! I love learning how lucky I am to have simple lessons like this to teach me! I’m happy I’m starting to be less frustrated by X each day!!” Really make the statements as ridiculous, loud — but true — as possible. Do not lie to yourself (e.g., “I love doing this work!”) when a thing/your attitude has not shifted yet. You will only be putting that into your system (brain, body chemistry, body memory), too. Only re-program with the truth and — don’t forget to LAUGH OUT LOUD at how silly your own ego makes you feel when you do this exercise.

Do you do things in life because you feel duty-bound and obligated, as a habit? How do you expand your willingness in life, most especially when it is most challenging? — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Willingness vs. Obligation (GW)

The difference between a chore and a responsibility is a mindset. Are you giving away your energy with a side order of resentment? Have you chained yourself—through guilt or shame—to someone else’s to-do list? The act of completing the task (whatever the task) will be draining and somewhat demoralizing.

Flip the script. Do what you do because you allow it to benefit you. Perhaps you help a friend because you love seeing her that happy that someone else is taking time for her. Maybe you say yes to volunteering at school because you like having a better education for your children despite continued budget cuts.

No one likes to work around the clock. We all want breaks. We all want to feel needed and at other times we just need others to recognize our need to be left alone. Pull back gently if you need to take a break. A broken you is helping no one. Then jump back in, but give from love. I work because I love having a paycheck to pay the bills. I blog because I love to write. I allow my brain to register that the responsibility is not a burdensome chore. It is an opportunity.

Carpe diem — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.


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Just Say “No”: Responsibility of Self-Care (inspiration)

“All human beings are also dream beings. Dream ties all humankind together.” – Jack Kerouac

“The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.” – Woodrow Wilson

“No” is such a simple word….only two letters. Yet saying “No” out loud is harder for most people than saying, “I’ll be glad to…” (11 letters)or “When do you need me to…” (17 letters) ~ Linda D. Tillman

“There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life – reciprocity.”  ~Confucius

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Lawbreaking Friend vs. Your Ethics

To snitch or not to snitch? That is the update, Shakespeare. Preserving your ethics when friends do break the law.    — BadWitch

P.S. HAPPY VETERAN’S DAY (enjoy this well done and helpful video). Much gratitude to those who served and sacrificed.

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — A friend I love did something illegal I can’t tell you the details of. What do you do if a close lifelong friend does something like this? Do I turn him in? — Shawshanked Heart

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Dear Shawshanked Heart,

Ah, ethics. Yo, Shawshanked, we may be without the details, but I think you know exactly what you must do. I think you’re here for permission to do a hard thing. While it is always about increments and degrees of a thing’s severity, truth and sticking to your own ethics and values don’t shift. Speak up and separate his crime from yours of being a silent accessory after the fact. If you are so bothered by the bad behvior(s) of a loved one, I think you owe it to yourself and him to do the right thing…the one in your heart. Not saying it’s easy. They call it “tough love” for a reason. Sometimes truth telling is hardest for the truth sayer to do, when a loved one is involved. You already feel what you know you should do – now give yourself the courage to do that thing that represents your own best self.

Here are two very different yet related questions you might want to review.

Good luck,

BadWitch

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Dear Shawshanked Heart,

Wow. This is a very heavy issue and without knowing the severity of the crime, whether someone was hurt by these actions, it is very hard to answer this question. This is firmly somewhere in the middle of some deep gray areas.

If the issue is your conscience AND no one was hurt in the making of this criminal action, then one must wonder whether saying anything is for the defense of your own moral high ground and/or revenge. Did your friend brag or pour a guilty heart in front of you? Was this information shared as a deep bonding moment of deepest secrets? Would you respect yourself if you broke a confidence and broke someone else’s heart by telling what you know? Sometimes the moral high ground is not really very high if you have to betray and hurt others to take it.

On the other hand, if your friend did something in which other people were hurt then it becomes a whole different story. You wonder how many people VanderSloot bragged to who never mentioned a thing to the authorities, despite the fact that a girl is missing and her family continues to mourn and search for her.

In a case such as this, with victims, it may be necessary to move beyond weighing your loyalty to a friend and responsibility to the larger community. If you think there is any chance that this illegal act might happen again, you will need to step forward before anyone else is hurt.

Whatever the specific details, just be sure you are not stepping in to take over someone else’s karmic lessons [link: Whatever the specific details, just be sure you are not stepping in to take over someone else’s karmic lessons — either by telling because he has to pay for minor sins or not telling when others may be put in harms way. I appreciate how and why you wrote to us looking for input, but really, you must judge what is right for your own soul. Will you harbor guilt (a depleting emotions) because you said nothing? Can you live with yourself if this person commits this act again?

Pray over this answer because you will be affecting your friendship and his life. Felons don’t just pop back into society with ease. Jobs are barred. Housing is barred. In the end, just make sure you are doing the right thing in your heart for the right reasons.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Image: Avada Kedavra

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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