Joy! (BW)

Joy is a thing, much like “true love,” that is often erroneously co-opted and contorted by our culture to be something airy fairy and/or unattainable to mere mortals. Good news!, it’s just the opposite. Joy is fundamental, much like love, in that is an intrinsic characteristic that is like a muscle — use it or lose it, walk your talk or siddown! It’s already there within for you to tap into often, or ignore and even deny…and atrophy.

Not only is Joy important, a thing of gravitas, and…fun!…it is an extension of ourselves like the state of our wellness/fitness/health. Body, mind, spirit.

Raise your Joy quotient by noting how you think, speak and (re-)act to things on a daily basis. Instead of, “Of course that parking spot just got taken. I always lose out to other people.” Choose to think more along the lines of, “OK, let me drive a little more and see if I discover anything new. Maybe there’s something I’m supposed to see or do (e.g., walk more) if she got that to that space first. Adventure is opportunity. I just have to keep reminding myself that some opportunities seem inconvenient in the moment.” Then FEEL Joyous while opening your eyes to see spaces of opportunity opening up wherever they will. Practice. Practice. Practice.

How could you have felt more joyous this morning? How can you benefit from tapping into your own innate Joy — that emanates from within you, and is not contingent on external events and other people?   — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders.

What’s jamming your juice in life? What emotion is hardest for you?  Tell us what’s important to you, what you think about. How we can help you thrive—not just survive—modern life. Email us at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Joy! (GW)

Joy is finding gratitude for life in every day. Joy is that buoyant feeling that helps you weather stormy times, find energy during the most exhausting stretches and know there is a better tomorrow just around the corner.

Joy is an appreciation of everyday. It’s more stable than the rollercoaster highs of a first date or a special event. Joy is knowing that your life, despite the ups and downs, is exactly what it’s suppose to be, with just the right people to love who love you. If anything is missing, you know you can create it. Joy is knowing unequivocally, “Life is good.” — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders.

What’s jamming your juice in life? What emotion is hardest for you?  Tell us what’s important to you, what you think about. How we can help you thrive—not just survive—modern life. Email us at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Anxiety 401k: Parents’ Over-compensation

Parents’ disorder: anxiousrexia money nervosa. Kid’s inheritance: moolah hoarding? Saving your style.   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I’m 25 and my parents…are so freaked out about their financial situation… they’re insisting I put ¾ of my salary towards my retirement. I think that’s way too much, help me get them to get off my back! I’m being responsible, but how do I tell them nicely that just because they neglected to take better care of their own stuff, that I’m not doing the same thing and a better planner than them? I am planning on staying at home another year (to save up a downpayment, I’m almost there!) and they really want to help me, but I swear every other conversation in this house is about my retirement. Old Before My Time

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Dear Old Before Time,

Three-quarters of your salary does seem too much towards your retirement at your age — and yet there’s no time like the present for retirement savings! Investing is all about understanding and embracing your risk tolerance and balancing it with your current life age/stage toward attaining your ultimate financial goal values (e.g., education, home ownership, retirement. Go find yourself a good mentor or professional financial planner). You are just starting out. Since you don’t mention having debt but saving for house down payment, I will assume your presentation of your finances is accurate and speak to that. The only person I personally know who started saving for his retirement first from age 19 on, and then started buying rental property(-ies), was my college BFF. He paid cash for everything (then was shocked he hadn’t built credit) and saved every penny — but he has indeed been set for retirement at minimum 25 years ahead of his. While that is some amazing and awesome peace of mind (especially in these continuing uncertain economic times) I believe it’s important to choose to live a balanced life (cheap can evolve into miserly as habits set, but it’s important to live within your means while meeting your needs, too), and that starts with our thoughts, and yes, I’m still talking about saving and investment here.

Money is emotional.  Much like your investment style, weigh whether your relationship with money (How you are in relationships with others is a strong indicator of how you are with your money, i.e., do you wait for others to take care of things, or are you straightforward and assertive with people? Think about everyone close to you and I’ll be surprised if you can find an exception to that) is a subconscious manifestation of your parents’ worried projections, or if it’s more a reflection (and practice) of your own values — that’s the real financial goal I would focus on attaining.

Bless your blessings,

BadWitch

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Dear Old Before Time,

Well, your parents have some good advice for you, though they may be a bit over-zealous. Here’s the thing: compound interest is your friend. The more you can put in now, the bigger your win at retirement time. Though 75% of your salary seems a bit extreme as you start to save for your new life, the more you save now, the more your money works for you over time.

David Bach, author of Automatic Millionaire and Start Late, Finish Rich, offers a chart that compares the amount of savings three individuals have by the age of 65. The first starts saving $250 per month ($3000 per year) at 15 years old and ends up with $1,615,363.40. The second person starts at age 19 contributing the same $250 per year. But with 4 less years of investing ($4800 less in investment) our second investor has $1,552,739.35—more than $62,000 less than the 15 year old investor. Our last investor starts investing $250 a week at 27 (12 years later than our 15 year old investor; $14,400 less in capital) and earns $1,324,777.67 by age 65—$290,585.80 less than our early investor.

In other words, start early and set up a set amount automatically deposited into a compounding interest retirement account. The more you put in now while your overhead is low will go a long way towards working for your continued solvency through retirement. Some to house savings, some to retirement savings and some towards enjoying your life—do that and see life blossom before you—with a strong foundation to support you.

Good luck and happy savings,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders.

What’s jamming your juice in life? What emotion is hardest for you?  Tell us what’s important to you, what you think about. How we can help you thrive—not just survive—modern life. Email us at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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“Everything is Connected” (inspiration)

“All is connected… no one thing can change by itself.” ~ Paul Hawken

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.” ~ Aristotle

“A book is like a piece of rope; it takes on meaning only in connection with the things it holds together.” ~ Norman Cousins

“And I don’t want to begin something, I don’t want to write that first sentence until all the important connections in the novel are known to me. As if the story has already taken place, and it’s my responsibility to put it in the right order to tell it to you.” ~ John Irving

“Cherish your human connections: your relationships with friends and family.” ~ Joseph Brodsky

“The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.” ~ Albert Einstein

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Love: The One Who Got…Awry

What is love? So sweet the feelings between two and…their family baggage? Making “love” on your own terms only.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I want an unconditional love relationship with my boyfriend. I’m convinced he’s “the one.” We both come from divorced but loving families. You know how they say we become our parents, and end up repeating what we grew up seeing? How do we not repeat our parents’ mistakes in our relationships? One & Only

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Dear One & Only,

Annnd…what does he want? Have you two even discussed your longer view(s), and if so, do you feel mutually about your relationship? Spend some time chatting out your individual back stories. Is one of you successful at not repeating family dysfunction and/or history? Help the other. Share and come up with ideas as to how you two can do it “better” than you may have seen it growing up.

If you and your boyfriend feel mutually that you each are The One, then the only way to break the habits of your families’ worst patterns is to recognize them fully. Be aware vigilantly. Practice diligently. And keep talking (as the relationship evolves, so will the old issues’ impact and your expression of them) about these things (on both sides) frequently together. If your man is the rare one who enjoys doing these things, then he really may be The One…for a lot of us!

Relate consciously, be mindful,

BadWitch

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Dear One & Only,

Be aware! Remember that being in an devoted, unconditional relationship means seeing the person as he or she is—not just as a boyfriend or husband.

It is easy when we are in long-term relationships as the holder of social mores. Suddenly he is suppose to act like the typical (read: cookie-cutter romantic comedy suitor), perfect mate. Flowers, candy, never a cross word and great declarations of love are necessary for the relationship to seem steady. Bullshit.

Don’t put the masks of “husband”, “wife”, “boyfriend”, “girlfriend” over the clear view of who you are in relationship with. See the truth. Unconditional means without judgment so you and your partner can be accepted as you are—not as someone else would have you be. Set your boundaries. Talk through disagreements and realize that both of you will have to contribute to the good and the bad times.

If this person is truly your one and only, realize hat there will be no violins or rainbows because you are together. It will be two people ready and aware of persona faults, past history and how to be fully respectful to each other.

You can break the chains of family history, but only through awareness, practice and personal responsibility.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Image: of the Hatfield & McCoy’s children’s reunion

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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“Everything is Connected” (BW)

Everything in the universe is made up of energy. That mouse under your hand, your annoying friend, the rock in the road, you. All energy. Quantum physics can quantify that everything is energy. The Big Picture (and you) is comprised of itself over and over: the larger whole repeated smaller and smaller in size to the sub-atomic level. This means YOU are an expression of the Universe.

Understanding that everything is energy is to recognize that matter (e.g., what we look like, an amazing car, the money in your wallet) is mostly illusion. At the subatomic level matter is full of the same empty spaces which like the spaces that are not empty, consists of energy in constant motion. The most striking level for me about connection is that as you think, so your reality goes. For better or worse. Energy connection is everywhere. Pattern as lesson, no such thing as coincidence as syncronicity. Acupuncturists and all manner of energy workers know, you can move and manipulate energy to heal (via the body’s energy channels known, Chinese medicine calls them meridians, chakras in Hindu practices) — this means there is a real expectation to reality connection, and intention as map foundation.

Everything is energy. Energy is the common stuff of the universe. Everything is connected. The fabric of the universe is connected, same energy.

Wouldn’t we all be better off to hold this in mind as we walk through the world? Wouldn’t we tend to more often treat others and things as we would want to be treated? When we treat others poorly, we are quite literally hurting ourselves. That Golden Rule makes practical as rational and spiritual sense, doesn’t it? — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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“Everything is Connected” (GW)

Everything in life is made up of energy. This energy, which appears stationery and solid, is actually in motion all the time, The energy is exchanged regularly with the energy of what is around it. Everything is, according to particle physicists, literally part of everything.

We have seen this at work when in a group of people, one person’s positive or negative attitude can effect the whole group. So what are you contributing to our shared consciousness? Are you making the world a better place through your optimistic, upbeat attitude or bringing us all a little lower with a negative outlook? Everything is connected, including you. — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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The Real Clash: Stay or Should I Go?

Burn outs are kinda cool in a hot rod. Not so much on the job. How to stay cooler.  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — …career of 12 years…What constitutes “burn out”? How do you know if you are actually burned out and it would be wise to find a new course to pursue, or whether you just need a long vacation, and should stay put in the industry you spent so much time developing skills, contacts and your reputation in? Path Trekker

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Dear Path Trekker,

Check out what we told Miller Time about his job exhaustion.

As for what constitutes “job burn out,” as usual, I suggest you do review columns. This time, list all the things that first ignited, attracted and fueled you to and on your job. Second column, quickly jot all the things that frustrate you on the job and about your workplace. I’d rather you list emotions/feelings elicited than nit picky line items like “broken water cooler,” which may or may not translate as “dehydrated, listless and angry.” Half joking. Cross-check the two columns. This one is more a highly subjective look-see between the two columns to see which is: larger/longer, which items may be completely negated by something in the other column, and overall how each column makes you feel. Do this exercise again same time for the next four weeks. See if recognizing and shifting what you can has changed anything for you. Own what’s yours, weigh what you can’t control against your overall life needs and peace.

Meanwhile, a well-deserved, fun-filled (whatever that means to you) vacation away from the office is always a rejuvenating, reenergizing treat our culture doesn’t take as seriously as it should. Go expedia.com, orbitz.com, or Travelocity.com (among others) — do a staycation — but go forward, Path Trekker!

Stop and smell the rose essential oil,

BadWitch

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Dear Path Trekker,

Follow the tickle. The question is what inspires you and leads you t wan to spend your time in the activity.

The truth is whatever you choose to do will, no doubt, use some of the very skills and contacts you have honed over all these years. Though, you may decide the field you are in no longer serves, skills are transferable.

To start, yes, schedule a vacation. Give yourself time from the pressures of everyday to get a read on whether you enjoy the duties and opportunities available to you in your everyday career. Then it’s time you play Blue Sky/

What would you do if there were no limits? If money, security, social pressure and guilt were taken out of the work/life/career equation, what would you do with your time for work, fun, joy?

The questions to such answers may be unrealistic when normal life circumstances are applied, but it will start to point you in the right direction. You will see more clearly where your interest lie.

The key is to rest up and give yourself the time and space to figure out how you feel and what you want.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Trust (inspiration)

“Trust, but verify.” ~ Ronald Reagan

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.” ~ Frank Crane

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Playin’ the Numbers: Truthfulness

Why can’t we all tell the truth all the time? And didn’t Jim Carey and Ricky Gervaise already star in those? No, yes they di’ent. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I would say I’m 90% if not 95% truthful. Why is it so hard for me to go all the way on the small things sometimes? I really want to be a 100% honest but not a sucker. Do you think this is even possible? Numbers Player

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Dear Numbers Player,

A QUESTion for the ages. If we were perfect, why the heck would we need to be here to practice, learn lessons of how to be…better? The small things are usually the hardest things, as well. Think about living with someone you really like or even love. It’s not the big life questions that, on average, get people — but the squeezing the toothpaste tube-esque ones. The annoying niggling things in your saddle you don’t often realize. Those are the things you might want to really take a look at, with regard to your honesty-dishonesty practice. The only other thing I have to contribute is that life is all about probabilities. From physics to insurance tables, there’s no such thing as a sure thing.

Only the naïve believe in absolutes,

BadWitch

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Dear Numbers Player,

What is with the questions this week? Is it possible? Can it be done? Listen, either you have the will to do what you will or you do not. Either you want to be a truthful person or you don’t. Yes, life will throw you curve balls when being fully honest is neither compassionate nor kind. So, what’s more important?

Listen, either you can be an honest person or you can’t. And what separates the two is no more than your will and repeated practice. Either you set yourself to the task like any person working to create a new habit engrained to truth.

I can’t tell you what is possible. That is for each and every person to decide. Either you believe living an honest life is worth the work or you don’t. I can tell you from experience, however, an honest life is a lot less work. No lies to remember. What you see is what you get. Kind of leaves more time for you to be you…and develop some other well-engrained habits. Evolution is great. Everyone should try it.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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