Category Archives: self-improvement

Playin’ the Numbers: Truthfulness

Why can’t we all tell the truth all the time? And didn’t Jim Carey and Ricky Gervaise already star in those? No, yes they di’ent. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I would say I’m 90% if not 95% truthful. Why is it so hard for me to go all the way on the small things sometimes? I really want to be a 100% honest but not a sucker. Do you think this is even possible? Numbers Player

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Dear Numbers Player,

A QUESTion for the ages. If we were perfect, why the heck would we need to be here to practice, learn lessons of how to be…better? The small things are usually the hardest things, as well. Think about living with someone you really like or even love. It’s not the big life questions that, on average, get people — but the squeezing the toothpaste tube-esque ones. The annoying niggling things in your saddle you don’t often realize. Those are the things you might want to really take a look at, with regard to your honesty-dishonesty practice. The only other thing I have to contribute is that life is all about probabilities. From physics to insurance tables, there’s no such thing as a sure thing.

Only the naïve believe in absolutes,

BadWitch

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Dear Numbers Player,

What is with the questions this week? Is it possible? Can it be done? Listen, either you have the will to do what you will or you do not. Either you want to be a truthful person or you don’t. Yes, life will throw you curve balls when being fully honest is neither compassionate nor kind. So, what’s more important?

Listen, either you can be an honest person or you can’t. And what separates the two is no more than your will and repeated practice. Either you set yourself to the task like any person working to create a new habit engrained to truth.

I can’t tell you what is possible. That is for each and every person to decide. Either you believe living an honest life is worth the work or you don’t. I can tell you from experience, however, an honest life is a lot less work. No lies to remember. What you see is what you get. Kind of leaves more time for you to be you…and develop some other well-engrained habits. Evolution is great. Everyone should try it.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Trust (BW)

Last week seemed extra long and was definitely hard for me. A beloved parent received shockingly sudden serious news from the doctor. I’m pretty far down the road of senior parent care, so in the midst of all the business and chaos (but even to my own surprise), this time I found that I had earned the luxury of being philosophical. And I thought a lot about “Trust” (my thoughts about its partner “Surrender).

My general formula for Trust is that we all start out with 100% open trust in our psycho-emotional bank, then are debited the percentage of whatever happened to us in life by, say, age 5. If that sum is 50% or higher, we have a corresponding tendency to trust people and situations in life. If it’s 49% or below, we will commensurately see the world as a booby-trapped place fraught with ways to be hurt or worse, disappointed. Leave room for gradations of gray on both sides. Then from a strictly legal definition, a “Trust” means: A relationship created at the direction of an individual, in which one or more persons hold the individual’s property subject to certain duties to use and protect it for the benefit of others. And there you have it. It obviously behooves us to have the most Trust possible. To have Trust in life, is for one’s own benefit, and the benefit of those in her/his life.

This city girl grew up with the benefit of a high Trust quotient. I strive to share that wealth with anyone around me who will listen. I believe the killer of Trust is not hurt, but the kind of disappointment that turns into cynicism. I’m choosing to trust that, after the things that we can and are doing something about, the rest is exactly as it was always meant to be. I trust my Mother Knows Best for herself and that this path is strewn with petals of lessons up and down, which can be trampled angrily on or admired for their fragrance and color. I trust that (especially in being so alike) she will always be my greatest teacher no matter where either of us is on our journeys.

What’s your trust quotient? Even if it’s high, how do you raise it daily? I trust, if you’re a reader of this blog, you likely do.  — BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Trust (GW)

There is much I could write about trust—the importance of it, the way to find it, the way to engender it. But these would all go down different paths that would not say the basic truth—without trust (of self, of others, of the Universe’s support) there is nothing. You will trip and fall because you have not set your mind to believe what you would actually have be the truth.

You can because you are capable. Trust yourself to do what you need to do or find the answers. Do not let disappointment from past betrayals keep you from experiencing the love and support available to you in the present and future. Trust that the Universe has sent you those who you can rely on. Trust that you are smart enough to find them. And trust. It is the most important aspect of love.

Be worthy of trust. Take commitments seriously. Take yourself seriously. Then live like you mean it. And, yes, trust and believe—with those components you are more than half way to success. — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Squeezed: Ethics in Middle Managementland?

Trippin’ like Lewis Carroll, or could even you see it on this side of the looking glass?  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — Myth or reality? Conscientious and ethical middle management? Stuck in the Middle

 

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Dear Stuck in the Middle,

I’ve not seen anything contrary in my experience, but top-down thoughts > choices > actions. Ethics are top-down. In a company with questionable (let’s call them) ethics, being a sometimes less-than-powerful middle manager often adds the pressures of ambition to excel on the career track. I tried to, but found I couldn’t answer your question without editorializing — here’s some more: if you find yourself working in a firm whose ethics (often easily spotted identified in its average lowest/smallest client treatment practices) frequently don’t jibe with your own (maybe you dread going to work, or feel sick or unduly tired when you come home. Check in with your own Body Wisdom), I would seriously consider looking for a new place to be a middle manager.

So in a nutshell: “Conscientious and ethical middle management?” not always but absolutely, and if your firm and you are in alignment that possibility is all the clearer.

Middle up,

BadWitch

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Dear Stuck in the Middle,

The real question is whether people at any level of management, especially the higher echelons, can act with respect for fellow man, righteous perspective and yes, conscience. For those in middle management often have little recourse to follow the guidance of their conscience when those above have different priorities.

As a middle manager, I suggest getting very clear with yourself about what you believe. Be clear with yourself about where your moral compass points so that you know what you will and will not do to get ahead. Realize also, that although great, loud moral stands work great in the movies, they are far less effective in real life. If you find yourself asked to do something that dips below the line of your conscience barometer, do not make a scene. Find a way to offer the goal through less nefarious means. Of course, chances are no one will ever point blank ask you to break the law. It will be shrouded in concern for the company or the bottom line.

Conscience comes with every soul. Whether we choose to listen or not is up to each of us. The myth is that business cannot be moral and survive, much less make a profit. The reality is love of capitalism has over shadowed love of fellow worker, fellow man and the environment we need to live and grow. Each of us in these days must find our own way of acting in an upstanding fashion so others can see it modeled.

Good luck,

 

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

 

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

 

 

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Surrender: How to Do It (inspiration)

“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.” ~ Julia Cameron

“All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling.” ~Blaise Pascal

“Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” ~Gail Sheehy

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.” ~ Anon.

“Love is a lot like dancing — you just surrender to the music.” ~ Anon.

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Surrender: How to Do It (BW)

Typically, “surrender” is one of those elevated life art forms that most (“normal”) people don’t even attempt to approach because they “already know” they don’t know how to. Surrender just feels like a far-off hazy concept and maybe even worse, of the guru on the mountaintop variety — scary or difficult for mere mortals to attain. Still, whether adorably or superstitiously, many of us put it on some future To Do list…just in case. But in our war culture, it’s the ideas about what surrendering mean that trip us up: 1) letting go of control is weak (self-delusional) or a failure (misnomer), 2) fear of the unknown (all of it is that; more delusion), and/or 3) being fatalistic or lacking faith (more ironic when paired with #1 as it often is).

Surrender is very different than giving up.

To give up, we give away our power, and just *sigh! * stop working, being present – check out. To surrender is about being even more present and alive, engaged with detachment, filled with hope and faith that what is and/or will be, is for our best interest, despite what the façade may appear like or to be. I’ve been called an Alpha more than once, and so certainly don’t have a pacifist personality, but more and more try to cultivate a conscientious objective character. My sweet spot: to be as speedy as ever and peacefully accepting and in flow about what I cannot control in life.  God laughs when we make plans! —BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.


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Surrender: How to Do It (GW)

Surrender is one of the hardest lessons to truly embrace and practice in one’s life. When one truly surrenders, one lets go of the attachment to the outcome in a situation. Remember a time when you struggled to remember some piece of trivia, like the name of a song, actor or movie, and it just eluded you. The harder you tried, the more blank your mind became. Then you let go. You decide it does not matter to remember, so you give up your attachment (and struggling to achieve it). Then a little while later the answer pops into your head like a gift.

That is surrender in process:

1. Set your goal or desire.

2. Work towards attaining your desire to the best of your abilities.

3. Be grateful for the opportunity to move towards your goal.

4. Release your attachment to the outcome. Work for the fun of working. Find the joy and the humor in the struggle and let go, trusting things to work out for the best. They usually will.  — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (inspiration)

“He who angers you conquers you.” ~Elizabeth Kenny

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”~Anon

“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.”~ William H Walton

“People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves.”~Aesop

“Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.”~Robert Brault

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (BW)

Of all things not to hold close to one’s heart most especially, a grudge would be in the top two. Sustained anger is the emotion that turns into resentment and bitterness. Negative emotions produce chaotic heart rhythms, which negatively impact the rest of the body’s systems. Studies show that for every five (5) minutes of anger you feel, your body’s immune system drops in effectiveness for 12 hours. Conversely, five minutes of happiness and love you feel does the same in the positive for your body and its systems.

Allowing yourself persistent feelings of resentment and grudges holds you in the past, eats away at you, and lessens your availability to better options and events in the present. Grudges make you less whole, and lesser than. Don’t bring your grudge’s bitterness and anger from the past that’s gone forever, into all your relationships today and tomorrow. Forgiveness is first a choice, and then a process of commitment. You must want to change and grow. When you do, then you can. Next, work on you(r) will.  BadWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (GW)

What’s the point! You hold a grudge, reminding yourself over and over again to release cortisol into your system, send acid churning in your stomach and raise your heart rate and blood pressure through the roof because this person hurt you. At what point is this suppose to actually hurt the other person?

Want to know what can really hurt the other person? Obscurity. Loss of Interest. That’s right, just like I’d tell my child on the playground if another child is not playing nice, walk away. Life is too short for grudges. It only leads o stuck energy, acid reflux and migraines. Juust kick em to the curb and move on. You will be all the happier and wiser for it. — GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.

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