Category Archives: media

Hello, My Name is Jon & I’m Addicted to Social Networking

O!, what a tangled web we weave. More and more people feel caught in their own Social web instead of in their real life (RL). And all social skills are not created equally. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW— Help me! I’m being held captive in a Social factory! I spend wayyy too many hours every day at my socials. Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. Is there such a thing as balanced online life?! — Nothing but Social Life

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Dear Nothing but Social Life,

I call obsession to being online constantly BSOS, or Bright Shiny Objects Syndrome. Let’s be clear: you have an obsession (a mental preocupation) not a true addiction (a dependency) — but sadly it’s funnier to say you’re addicted when it comes to something so seemingly small yet insidious as Social networking. This phenomenon is relatively new to the past 15 years, give or take, and it does represent a real and potentially damaging and problem for kids or teens — anyone still developing (physically (brain), academically (reading/spelling), emotionally and socially (critical thinking, emotional balance, and inter-/intrapersonal communication)). The debate’s still out on whether social networking and massive hours online for kids is good or bad. Depending on what age/stage you are, the problem as you described  it can affect one differently.

Spending the majority hours of your day online “being social” is not the same thing as actually Having a Real Life, which takes skills, time and effort, and practice. If you have a RL, then web Socials can be an enhancement, not a replacement. My advice in a nutshell: Go outside and play! One feeds the other. The inside of your head is never as fascinating a place to anyone else as it is to you. Just the facts, ma’am/sir. The classic building blocks of  social, cultural and personal development still hold true: learning how to read and write (properly) gives U a leg up 2 understndg ur world historically and presently, which assists in having conversations with others to stimulate and grow your brain’s logic, speech, spatial and judgment centers, which all add up to the ability for having a fuller, more satisfying and balanced social life.

While out of balance Social networking is an obsession rather than an addiction, I still recommend checking how OCD a personality you might have as a good starting point to help you identify some of your behaviors and/or motivations. Otherwise, “addiction” to Socials is much more akin to work addiciton than a classic addiction (e.g., sex or drugs), and coming to balance is obviously the goal.

Start there. Answer the questions in the article link above, and start understanding what motivates your persistent, maybe obsessive Social usage. You can always try implementing a couple simple Social habit-breaking rules for yourself over 6 weeks (time to change a habit).

Balance your RL & Social lives: 1) only log on if you actually have something truly interesting and/or “newsworthy” to say, and; 2) if you can say it all by spending no more than 30 minutes a day updating, Replying, or browsing your Socials. Then between Weeks 2-4 of your habit-changing 6 weeks, drop 5 minutes each week from your time online at your Socials, until you are only logging in for 15 minutes a day. I recommend the stopwatch on your iPhone (a good personal use for a mobile!) or other alarm system.

In all your newly found free time, you can develop your people watching, reading and conversational skills more often in the RW.

Logging off,

BadWitch

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Dear Nothing But Social Life,

I hope your social life happens in the 3-D world, as well. The beauty of social media is the beauty of connection. You can connect with friends of long ago and people you don’t know, even celebrities. But unless that is balanced with loving relationships in the 3-D world, you are missing out on hugs, kisses, and infectious belly laughs that roll on and on. The good news is your social obsession may be the very means of stepping back into the real world—you know, offline.

You can find people from your class living in your city and send a message to meet up. Speaking of meeting up, MeetUp.com leverages social media for a 3-D world. You find what you like to do — from archery to cooking, talking about the brain to best happy hours — in the real world and meet other folks who are into the same thing there. Joining groups with similar interests can create lifelong bonds. Jane Austen Book Club, anyone?

Your social life comes with distance built in. Time, location, and an electronic device come between you and your online interactions. You can edit what you say, before blurting it out and can actually delete what you say. Would that the real-world were so forgiving. That is why we can feel more comfortable behind our socials than in the 3-D.

Meld them both for optimum balance, health and sanity. Did you know hugs reduce your heart rate and stress levels — proven. People with close relationships (on and off screen, mind you) live longer than those who do not, again, proven.

Funny thing is if you were a social addict, had to be out in the world and around people 24-7, I would counsel you to spend ore time alone and draw some boundaries in your life, perhaps even using social media as a tool. But, in your case, you have bridged two worlds. You are in the world, but not of it, which may work in the Buddah’s mind to lighten the soul, but if you are here in this 3-D, in a body, well make the most of it. Get out and go places you’ve never been before, even if it’s just neighborhoods in your city. Go for walks and actually chat with strangers. Besides, if you need a hit, check your mobile and upload a couple of status updates, that automatically feed your Tweet.

There’s no cold turkey needed here. Besides the fifth edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has already by-passed online addiction as an actual social disorder.

Screen time + 3-D time=balance.

Get Happy,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.


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The Stress Smell of Revenge

When we are wronged by an old friend, how can we right ourselves again? Releasing the self-imposed stress of wanting to strike back .     — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — Someone who I thought was an old friend really did me wrong. I can’t stop these thoughts of revenge in my head.    — Cold Dish

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Dear Cold Dish,

Punishment! Payback! Revenge! While they make for a cool poster, are a lot better suited for the movies and soap operas than real life where that sweet taste is a shot, but a hole in the gut lasts forever. Why stress yourself giving yourself an ulcer when you can Go Green! (ok so yeah, lower case), and recycle that same energy into healing, improving and growing yourself? Believe me, this is the more sustainable model.

There’s no pain like the pain of deceit a trusted former friend can dole out. This alone makes the healing and self-improvement an uphill trek. But hiking uphill builds strong legs, lungs and buns of steel. Work on your emotions in the same way: build a foundation of unflinchingly truthful self-knowledge (did you somehow contribute to this betrayal, if not, what would your ex-friend’s motive be to hurt you?); steely resolve to learn something about yourself from this incident (like how you hurt – your hot buttons can reveal to yourself your most unhealed emotions), or how you knew something about your friend but maybe hid that truth from yourself (what payoff/need did having this person fulfill in your life?), etc.); and the life-sustaining ebb and flow of acceptance of things as they are and self-reliance (not the same as isolated). Surround yourself with true friends and family who appreciate and can support you in your growth and thriving. Remember who you really are.

Finally, sweet Cold Dish, I think you’ll be doing yourself a favor (and shortcut) to turn and face how much this old friend hurt you. Grieve. There’s a good deal of mourning your situation (and our culture at large) appears not to have embraced yet. There’s a gaping hole where there was once something very important to you and your life. Take the time to really recognize, mourn its absence, thank it for the gift it was (when it was and what it actually gave you), and let it go.

Divine it is to forgive, Yoda,

BadWitch

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Dear Cold Dish,

Betrayal by a loved one is one of the most painful experiences possible. You put your trust and faith into another person and they betray that trust through actions and/or words. Not fair. But maybe you’ve heard—revenge never helped anyone.

Truth is, thinking revenge-thoughts is perfectly sane. Most people when faced with betrayal will think horrible Carrie-esq revenge thoughts. You may envision horrible disfiguring or fatal accidents too. Again, sane. Now, taking any of those thoughts into the 3-D, insane, psychotic and, quite possibly, criminal.

So, let the revenge thoughts simmer for another day or so and then, move on. Pick yourself up and ask yourself the hardest question of all: How did I contribute to this situation. Were you too forthcoming with someone who had already showed you they were not trustworthy? Did you chose to remain blind to the signs of betrayal early on and dig yourself in deeper? Are there ways you can recover, rebound and safeguard yourself against these mistakes in the future—without closing off yourself from future relationships?

Forgiveness is just around the corner. Forgiveness does not mean to forget what happened. But stop the acid of hate and revenge running through your veins as soon as possible. You are only brewing up illness, stress and paranoia by keeping the un-forgiveness and revenge going. Unfriend them at Facebook. Change the name in your cell phone to ALERT (or something you feel may be more appropriate) so you can cancel any incoming calls from their number and move on with your life.

Chalk it up to experience. Realize this person has offered you the gift of a transformational lesson. Use this experience as a springboard yourself into a more alive, compassionate person. Use this lesson to grow more into the amazing person you are. That is the best revenge. The loss, the forfeit, the crappy karma is all theirs. Let the Universe sort out the punishment. Focus on your rewards. Even the darkest moments have brightness to offer us if we are willing to look into the blackness. Look. There’s a better, freer you on the other side.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Juicy Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

I Pronounce You Bridezilla On Da Dance Floor!

Are First Dance lessons a must today, in your wedding budget, or are you just out of your wedding planning mind? Something borrowed, Groom to Bride: “Shall we Dirty

Dance or Two Step ever after?”   — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I’m a bride-to-be but not a Bridezilla. Do you think we look bad if we don’t getting dance lessons for the First? Funnily, it’s my fiance who wants to, but I don’t see why when we’re both good dancers naturally.  — Mrs. Twinkle Toes

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Dear Mrs. Twinkle Toes,

The first dance of the bride and groom is symbolic of you to dancing together through life. So the question is, do you prefer that dance be choreographed or a free-form expression of the two of you together in the moment?

I believe the beauty of dance is how much fun you are having while you’re doing it. But, looking good in front of friends, family and out of town guests is not to be undervalued. So knowing the best dancers know how to lead and how to follow. Compromise may be the best solution of all. Take the classes and learn some new tricks. Work out some new styles and steps and then have a few Dance Dates at home. Integrate the moves you learn (a salsa step here, a samba hip there) and make it a part of your own style.

Don’t get too wrapped up in the “perfect” wedding, because believe me, the things you remember and cherish years later have little to do with how well you did the first dance, which cake topper you chose or the seating arrangements. A good party flows naturally—not too controlled. Allow yourself to get back to the basics. You will remember the ceremony, the vows, the first kiss. You will remember who came, who you shared a laugh, a drink and, most likely, a tearful hug. Focus on bringing meaning into those moments.

Make this dance your own. Dance together as an expression of the synchronization, spirit, love and fun of your new life together.

Dance like there is no one watching,

GoodWitch

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Dear Mrs. Twinkle Toes,

Full disclosure: after hardballing all my vendors, I sent our wedding invites with American flag stamps on them. Got me? So of course I wouldn’t think that your first public glide out together as Mr. & Mrs. should be an audition for So You Think You Can Dance. Ok so get dance lessons if it’ll tame your four left feet and shy nerves, but I say you’re better off doing the junior high gawky slow jam into your new life to your own beat, Fred and Ginger. If you’re really no Bridezilla, why on the dance floor would you let others’ wedding trends lose you this precious, potentially revealing teamwork challenge opportunity? They say men don’t care about weddings — hello?, most of them don’t care about overwrought, unrealistic weddings. Nowadays, very often how a couple starts out together is a real indication of how you will walk through life as a team.

Unless either of your families are the Aileys or Barishnikovs, your fiancé must be kidding himself to even think any sincere celebrant of you two gives a poop…or would dis your skillz, such as they are. Trust me, you’re better off spending half the time you’re inclined to on planning the Big Day, and doubling the time anticipating, planning and then actually preparing for the real partnership event. Honey. If more couples did that, the divorce rate in this country would very probably drop from 50% to 25% right off the bat (and then comes the real work). Think and talk about real decisions that matter: do you both want children (if so, by when, how many?), money (who’s going to handle the house finance admin; what do you expect of each other contribution-wise (e.g., working vs. stay-at-home); and will you mix or match financial burdens, expenses and dividends?), and lifestyle (where will you live, city or ‘burbs; chore division; entertainment; all the way to the fidelity expectations end of the spectrum).

Start off on the real right foot together by considering (healthy debating is fine) these Real Life concerns before they become deal breaking issues later. And yes, over half my adult life later, people are still recalling to us our super yummers cake (!) and how much our unique wedding truly reflected us.

Congrats without the Jazz hands,

BadWitch

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Image, Christiaan David Photographer

Juicy Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

Of Guilty Feet and Married Men

Previously on: She’s in love with a married man. Oh the dram-mah! But wait for it…there’s more! Now he’s taking his marriage splitsville stress out on her. Oh no he didn’t! Stay tuned…     — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I fell in love with a married man. Now that he’s separated from his wife, I’m regretting the decision because I didn’t see how much of his divorce stress he would be dumping on me because he left his wife for me. I feel obligated to stay. Do I stay or do I go? — Personal Clash

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Dear Personal Clash,

Your being in a relationship with a guy (who left his primary one without a note from his wife) from whom you are asking us for permission to leave, is your answer itself.

Your question reminds me so much of the drama created by that media attention whore Jon Gosselin which got his +8 family-supporting show cancelled because that Ed Hardy-wearing, midlife crisis-on-a-skateboard tried to play hardball with his network bosses by not letting them shoot his kids — uh, the real subjects of the show — in “his” house. I’m saying: a dyed-in-the wool jackass always manages to be a jackass with or without you or anyone else’s help. The Way of the Hooves, baby. So get out of his Way, darlin’, and just let him wipeout Steve-O-style.

The regret you’re expressing is, to my ears, out-screaming the love you may have felt so strongly before. You already know this guy’s nothing but trouble – and sometimes what we love most is…trouble. Let’s not even go into your innocence on how stressful a divorce is under the most mutually ideal circumstances — consider this an advanced crash course in How Things Really Work . Honey, I’m sayin’, if he left her “for you,” then he potentially has no compunction to avoid doing the same thing to you sometime in the future. Let this child grow up and learn to deal with his own stress — caused and received — on his own. Which is very potentially how he’ll end up ultimately if he doesn’t. You like most of us, my cupcake, have your very own lessons to learn about boundaries, toxic relationshipsdevotion and love.You can thank your beast of burden for tilling this ground for you to plant better seeds for yourself.

Combat Rock Outta There,

BadWitch

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Dear Personal Clash,

Well, you saw how things worked out for Jon and Haley, not to say your situation is that dysfunctional, but the similarities are glaring. First off, let me get this straight—you coveted someone else’s husband, may have instigated the break up of a family unit and now you’re upset because he’s laying his divorce stress at your door. So, where do you think that divorce stress belongs? You invited this drama into your life when you got involved with a married man.

I know that your saying you “fell in love,” is somehow suppose to make everything ok. No, it doesn’t. Someone else “fell in love” with that man and married him—set up a life with family ties, responsibilities, joint property and maybe even children. The fact that you allowed yourself into relationship with someone with that much baggage, means that you deserve to help rectify the stress caused by the dissolution of the marriage. Did you think breaking up a family would not be stressful? Did you think that because you loved him the other person in the marriage would just forgive and forget the betrayal, and infidelity and end the marriage without so much as a shrug of the shoulders?

Be serious. This relationship started off on Drama Island and was destined to keep traveling further inland for some time. Think of it as karma. You gave someone else a great deal of stress unexpectedly. Now there is some for you. The good news is your cheater, I mean, “love”, in the middle probably has about twice as much stress, from you, the soon-to-be ex wife and any friends and family that loved and appreciated her.

Now, if his stress is being dumped on you in physically abusive ways, GET OUT NOW! Move to a friends house take everything you want to take (of yours, of course) while he’s at work and do not look back. As it is, I want you to be clear about who it is you are in love with. Do you think he won’t cheat on you? Because history has already shown he may not be faithful in a marriage. AND, if you really believe you are so special, remember, so did one of the girls Tiger Woods was having an affair with. Her complaint, he cheated on her with even more women.

Good Luck,

GoodWitch

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Image, Roy Lichtenstein

Juicy Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

You’re Too Sexy for Your Age…Right!, Said Fred

miley.cyrus.redcarpet Milley_Cyrus

With incessant technology, media image overload and growing up too early against extended longevity comes a new coming of age question: how do I dress in style and age appropriately? Peer pressure and unrealistic, glammed up media body images flashing 24/7 can confuse even an adult mind as to what’s hot and what’s not – how’s a teenager to know what’s too sexy too young? — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — Sup! I have this cute amazing !!!new !!! dress I love and I wore it to school. Then I come home and my mother and her gfs are chillan. Her friend goes, “I would get killed if I wore that to school at 16!” but it’s totally in style. WTF?!!!   — Hot & Sweet Chica

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Dear Sweet Chica,

Well, there are a couple of seemingly opposite statements I need to make. The first is that style and appropriateness are two different things. The second is, why do parents forget that we too wanted to look like we were 22 when we were 16. This is not new or news. This is the age old question of what style is the appropriate style when you’re in between. (Think Britney, “Not a girl, not yet a woman.”

I understand that teenagers tend to wear what looks like club wear to school, because school is the biggest outlet for expressing you and your style—and hotness at school can determine social status. I get the whole pic—I too was a teenager once. However, despite the skin tight mini-dresses worn by 90210 “teens,” this is not actually the most appropriate attire for school. Once in a while, pulling out the SUPER HOT wear makes sense. People take notice. Save the good stuff for the parties. The one thing you don’t want to get labeled is hot to trot—and guys base those labels on how you look as much, if not more than what you do.

That being said, you’re 16! Of course, you want to look hot. Even Miley Cyrus is coming under fire for being a normal 16 year old who wants to look and act older than she is. Because older is cooler at 16! I would say, just be sure that in your race to look hot, you don’t present yourself as a girl who thinks her looks are her worth. Looks make up a VERY small part of your overall worth as a human being. Looking sexy does not define who you are or how sexy you are. For instance, Angelina Jolie is usually seen in leather and jeans. She is incredibly sexy, pretty much an icon of sexy. She does not wear super short dresses. People go nuts when she wears strapless even though the dress is super full and long. Why? Because SHE is the sexy beast they all want to know and get next to. Because she is undeniably herself, loves herself and, more importantly, respects herself FIRST. That confidence is the ultimate sexy, beyond short dresses or skin tight wear.

So that is my long winded way of saying, you be you. Dress in what makes YOU feel comfortable. Dress for you—not for the intended effect on others. Go ahead and work the sexy look from time to time, but remember, sexy is from the inside out. Beyond style, nothing says sexy like a self-loving, expressive, confident woman. And that looks great on any age!

GoodWitch

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Dear Hot & Sweet Chica,

OMG we are soo fashion sistahs from another designer mama!! Long ago, in a lingerie department far, far away, I was solo shopping for basic bras when this dried up old lady quite loudly said to her wise glowing friend who kept trying to shush her, “I would never have been allowed to wear something like that when I was 16!” Hey, Crumble Cake Spice, I’m 21. I’m just one of those objects that looks sweeter in the Don’t Project Your (Bam!) Issues on Me mirror, lady.

I don’t know if you or your mom should be more upset here. After all you’re not 21, it’s her house and her final word you really must respect, so follow her rules and…roll up your skirts half as high as your instinct to, Georgia O’Keefe – I’m sayin’ being wise not just smart is always in style, Ms. Thang. Having said that, if I were she, that concerned but big-mouth girlfriend would’ve gotten an earful on not telling me how to parent. But since you asked for our opinion, my first concern for all daughters out there is on how her early, blossoming psycho-emotional and self-worth development look, because if they’re kapow! big and bouncy then I’m likely to have half as much to worry about (or at least “tweak” – what with Photoshopped misleading media images and peer pressure often working against an impressionable psyche’s best interest) around her dressing in style but age-appropriately for her brainy, slammin’ body (that I also want her to learn to healthily love, embrace and (gulp!) enjoy on her own terms, no one else’s).

And, girl yes I know !!!NEW!!! is always fun…but then it becomes neither amazingly quickly. It’s eternal good taste to develop (start now, take years) a true personal style that reflects and expresses your happiness and ease in your own skin-purpose-joy. My effin brilliant mom advised teenage-BadWitch to do “all that over-the-top fashion crap now when you’re young and no one will think you’re crazy, as opposed to when you’re older and they think you’re pathetic” — or inappropriately projecting all snappy dragon lady style – so of course I always represented my self…just like we all do, darlin’.

Put the long “U” in sexy styling,

BW

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Images, VH1 red carpet; Annie Lebovitz Vanity Fair shoot

Juicy Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.


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(post update) What the H1N1 to Do: Vaccine Shortage

H1N1vaccineIn our September 10th post ‘Swine Flu, What the H1N1 to Do?’ we reported the CDC was on track to roll out vaccines by mid-October as planned. Since then, there has been a shortage that has frustrated many people. Here’s what CDC head, Director Tom Frieden is saying.

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Image, AP photo, M. Spencer Green

 

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Juicy Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

Phat Girls: Skinny, Overweight & In-between

sizezeroDM_468x455Can One Size ever Fit All, and if not, why is our society so thin-centric? If More is Better in money, smarts and success, why isn’t more to love mo’ bettah?? — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I am size 14 and work in the Junior’s department. I’m on commission and I realize I’m not making as much as some of the “skinny girls” in the department. When I talked to my co-worker about changing my shift, she suggested I lose some weight. WTF? Do I have to lose weight to be successful? — A Queen Like Latifah

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Dear Queenie,

When “success” is defined by ‘Never too rich, never too thin’-thinking, that’s the problem. Not your weight (but whether girls or girlz, wellness first). This sort of thinking is fraught with judgments of what’s supposedly universally good and bad, and extremely self-limiting for those who buy into it. And none of that even touches on the fact that at size 14, you are the average American woman’s size! — and that Junior Plus starts at size 16. Can she say Miss Informed a little louder?

You sweet juicy Pear, I like how you functionally and quickly identified the most likely probability, and came to a solution right away. Big ups on the maturity and self-responsibility you exhibit. Lean on your instincts to figure out a workaround that works for you — and (aside from putting your health and wellness first) don’t buy into her misguided smugness, or fear, or well-intended advice. The only thing you did “wrong” here was to talk to a Banana who just doesn’t seem to appreciate your brilliance. While we can’t immediately change the problem inherent in the fashion industry behind Junior departments (odd sizes from 0-19) of America, we can all try to become more constantly open-eyed and -mind aware of the insidious nature of media images on the development and (self-esteem) stunting of young girls and women, and the often resulting cock-eyed self-images, and societal prejudice they produce.

Media isn’t going to go away – nor would this media junkie, ever want it to! One way I consistently personally recommend to avoid becoming a media zombie, is to train ourselves and children to become critical thinkers. This vital skill is woefully and ironically underrepresented in our schools, and long before all the current education systems to-the-bone budget cuts. Critical thinking saves!, and is certainly not for university students and eggheads only but should be taught as young a possible as a way to ascend the chaos.

You go on with your gorgeous, smart, thinking and self-believing identity, Queen Pear! Admire all your full glory nakedness in a full-length mirror and hug and thank your curves, sweetie. There’s so much of you to love on so many levels, right? It’s your job to keep on showing your real self (including your insecurities as you work on losing the weight of those) to the world — not an option to hide any aspect of your radiant self from the world.

Self-love & wellness,

BW, a Strawberry

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Dear Queen,

No, girl, you do not have to be some Skinny Minny to get ahead! Just like Queen Latifah has put forward a new definition of sexy, so can you. Carry yourself with confidence that doesn’t wane. You’re not overweight. You’re Phat!

Now, that said, if you feel your weight may be posing health risks, like increasing likelihood of diabetes or slowing you down because you can’t catch your breath when walking up a flight of stairs, that’s not sexy. Those may be the signs to drop a few pounds—for you. If, however, you’ve got Queen Latifah’s curves and are styling and carrying yourself like a Queen, other people will treat you like one. But if you feel “less than” because you are comparing yourself to skinny co-workers, then neither customers or coworkers will treat you with less than the respect you deserve.

Go in there, looking good with your head held high. Show customers you know how to put together great outfits. Size does not have to matter, even in Juniors. Want some inspiration? I suggest watching Monique’s Phat Girlz. It’s not the greatest movie, but it is an inspirational look at putting aside society’s view of weight and taking on self-confidence and self-love. Good and good for you. Another great show, Drop Dead Diva on Lifetime. This show looks at the re-birth of a model into the body of a previously downtrodden Plus Size attorney. The great part of the show for me was watching the transformation from downtrodden to banging. No she didn’t diet or lose weight, she just brought her Covergirl attitude to a Plus Size body—and a diva is born.

Let your Covergirl reign supreme! Work the products in your department to look styling and of the moment. If you know how to work the merchandise, you’ll be a hit with customers. Let’s face it, everyone shopping there is not a size 2. Go ahead and show how you can work the looks and many, many customers will come to you to show them how to work it too. I know you’ve got the goods, cause you’re a queen and you claim it. Work that style and claim the rest of your confidence. Remember, sometimes bigger is better!

Good luck,

GoodWitch

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Image: DailyMail.co.uk

Juicy Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your FREE brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

© 2009 ManifestGroup. No materials may be used without expressed written permission.

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