Formerly Pregnant Faces Fertility Challenge

There’s a theory that borders on fact, that replicating success is easier once you’ve achieved a thing. What to do when you can’t conceive child number two?  — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I got pregnant very quickly with my first child. We are now hoping to have a second child, but I haven’t gotten pregnant after six months of trying. Why am I experiencing fertility challenges this time around? — Former Fertile Myrtle


Dear Former Fertile Myrtle,

That 20% of American couples share your experience, likely gave rise to naming the phenomenon: secondary infertility. While some issues are the same as with primary infertility, secondary has its own including that health care providers don’t tend to pay as much attention (or insurance money) to it, relatives and friends can be less aware of it and may appear lesser concerned, and your own emotions may be projected at those for whom it appears expanding their family is easy and breezy.

Reasons for secondary infertility can echo those of primary, and include the lessening fertility of men (sperm motility to ED) and women (fertility or miscarriage) as they age. So, to see a professional or not? I say if the financial resources and time (all IVF is extremely time consuming and protracted. Your job and other life time-off considerations should be carefully measured beforehand) are available and are in balance with desire to grow your family, then yes. Go find out if your situation is, in fact, secondary infertility or a temporary blip of some other (unconsidered) kind. All I know for sure is that when I want something hyper strongly, I’m not known for my saintly patience and this stress undoubtedly affects my physiology.

Above all, love the family you have,



Dear Former Fertile Myrtle,

Secondary infertility can happen for a variety of reasons. Quite often falling into the medical category of unexplained infertility.

Some basic biological issues (like age) or post-baby lifestyle changes (like taking up marathon running or pot smoking) can interfere with pregnancy. Of course, one of the most likely culprits is stress. Stress puts the body on high alert—fight or flight mode. In this state the body severely reduces “on line” status of any body functions not necessary for speedy fight or flight. This means digestion and reproduction are “off line” when we are stressed. Blood flow is restricted. Nutrient supply diminished.

Try some stress relief tactics that can help you focus your energies toward self-care and your goals of pregnancy, like fertility yoga, acupuncture for fertility and fertility stress management and support groups. Now is the time to learn to meditate. Now is the time to add more greens and folates to your diet. Now is the time to assess how you are expending your precious energies and where those energies need to be realigned to support your healthy, glowing body function and your goal of a second child.

Also, discuss the issue with your GYN or a fertility specialist.

And remember, sometimes the challenges placed in our paths to achieve our goal is exactly the training we need to be successful after achieving our goal. Trust. Believe and be good to you.




Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to:

© 2009-2017 ManifestGroup. All rights reserved.


4 responses to “Formerly Pregnant Faces Fertility Challenge

  1. I agree to a point. Not all stress is benign, imagined or a manifestation of faulty thinking. Today’s stressors may not be the hungry lion in terms of how often you are mortally threatened, however, very real emotional and physical stress exist. Financial stress, for instance, may not threaten your life in the moment, but can very much affect quality of life and cause a tremendous amount of stress. Real stress.

    The issue is really not to find ways to make other people wrong because they are stressed. The most important thing is to help them find ways to cope with their stress effectively so it does not impede health.

    Stress is not inappropraite. It is a basic human response that tells you something is amiss. It is up to us to then look at what has gone wrong and address the issue as well as our residual emotional reactions to it.

    Truthfully, using research to disallow basic human emotions is stressful to me. Be careful not to judge people for not being automatons. You wouldn’t actually like them very much if they were.

  2. Pingback: Formerly Pregnant Faces Fertility Challenge | Adult Society

  3. Pingback: Formerly Pregnant Faces Fertility Challenge | Adult Society

  4. The word “Stress” actually relates to wear and tear as when the rubber meets the road on a tire or the brake pads pressing up against the rotor in the wheel. The term as it applies to living organisms was first introduced by Hans Seyle in the 1930’s who defined it as the consequence of the failure of an organism (human or animal) to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats, whether actual or imagined. Thus stress symptoms are the manifestation of a chronic state of responses to stress triggers that are actually benign. Even a thought can set off the same response mechanism that would be in play while standing in front of a hungry lion. Hence, Seyle’s definition still reaches to the heart of stress management; the idea of the response being inappropriate and engaging in a process of altering ones misperception of pending disaster or imminent danger.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s