Ring Ring! Valentine’s Day or Not, Does Size Matter?

Thoughtful boyfriend grapples with question of engagement ring around the finger. — BadWitch


Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I am planning to ask my girlfriend to marry me on Valentine’s Day. I’m a very practical guy and won’t give her the real ring so she can pick the perfect one herself. I love her a lot but she is more materialistic than me. I’m just curious what you gals think about rings. Does size matter? My sister says those big gawdy rocks are so 90’s? What really matters to you girls? Rocky


Dear Rocky,

As a pragmatic jewelry lovin’ femalista, sounds like I’m a combo of the two of you. As you suspect of your girl, I would want to pick my own ring (after all, gotta live with that decision!), but I can imagine my far more girlie-girl girrlz thinking that your thoughtful engagement scenario was feel incomplete, lacking something, without the old rock to anchor the space fully. Tiffany and other jewelers will “give” you a classic round cut solitaire for the question popping, so you can later bring in your fiancé for her personalized selection (if she wants to). Here’s more practical advice, pick a trade-in ring in the price range you can actually afford to spend ultimately, to manage her expectations up front. This is my absolute No Brainer recommendation, so you can both “be completed.”

Rings, as with all extremely personal jewelry items, are a matter of individual choice, comfort level, age and finances. So while it’s true that my opinion is extremely important to uninterrupted planetary revolution, it doesn’t mean anything to your girlfriend’s preferences. So I’ll just further share that time matters and space is not always contextual: my perfectly beautiful, decent carat-sized custom ring now looks too small to me, but I haven’t gained a pound. Hee.

Congrats and 4-C’s up!,


P.S. As pragmatic as I am, don’t forget to make this special day the smooshy, sexy-crazy-fun experience that best reflects you two! How do you think this fun-loving pragmatism has been married so long?


Dear Rocky,

Every girl is different. If you haven’t seen the ridiculous rocks dawning newly engaged celebrity fingers, you’ve clearly been avoiding the size-ist leaning of the rich and famous. Heck, Chad Ocho Cinco spent $10,000 on a designer diamond “friendship” ring for his Dancing with the Stars co-star Cheryl Burke.

Now, that said, I don’t think every girl expects a $10,000 diamond ring, but the expected engagement ring cost is 2 months worth of salary. Though not every woman wants a huge rock that is more cocktail ring than everyday wearable, size does matter to some extent. Remember, this ring is a sign of your love, asking her to spend the rest of her life with you. Let’s be clear, now is not the time to send a message that you will be cheap with her for the rest of your life.

Set your budget. Definitely make a trip to Jewelry Exchange or some equivalent that will let you pay less for more diamond. Then shop and enjoy. This is a sign of your love. If it’s in your budget, let your love shine—diamond style!

Congratulations and best wishes for a long life of love,



Image: Honey Conversation Heart Ring

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5 responses to “Ring Ring! Valentine’s Day or Not, Does Size Matter?

  1. @sarahnsh I Get you, I sent out my wedding invites with American flag stamps on them. Know yourself, and realize it’s like Iyanla says: “We attract to us what we are.” Ring ring! – So true, so true.

  2. I got myself love and a big diamond, but the diamond and ring has been in my family since my great grandfather so I knew I loved it, the style of it, and it’s a big diamond too. It ended up not being too much money for him, and I love the ring, so luckily it turned out good. Now, I could care less about a wedding, I’m going to go to the court to get married and then head on to a honey moon afterwards. Could care less about dresses, hair, color scheme, etc. All I need is my love from him and we can tie the knot without the extras. 😉

  3. Great information, incredible page theme, carry on the great work

  4. How right you are, Nance! It’s not the size of the rock but the depth of the commitment to make THAT thing go…and keep on… It’s probably obvious I am a planner out of the chute — I budgeted everything, we stayed under or on them all over our decades, including living WAY below our means as a habit. And…I heart bling! Happy V-day, Ms. Thang. xoxo

  5. Does anyone really need to walk around with a $25k knuckle buster on their finger just to prove that someone loves them? Think about it…a down payment on a house, perhaps?? Or maybe just an avoidance of financial ruin. I’ve never been a big fan of going into hock in order to get married. $25k engagement rings, $15k wedding dresses, stop the madness!!!! When my hubby proposed, he did so sans bling. Was I upset? No. He did, however, let me pick out my own ring several months later in NYC. As tempting as it was to choose a humongous diamond, I thought that I was fairly conservative. And I wore that baby proudly for over 20 years; right up until the Christmas Eve he presented me with a knuckle buster upgrade. Now I wear them both. But you know what? I know he loves me, and I don’t need a ring on my finger to tell me that.

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