Speak Up! Affect Change (BW)

When I got this week’s theme — which I love! — I decided to throw down a gauntlet: I’d like anyone who feels challenged by speaking up (speak up, even if anonymously!) to edify me as to why or what is most difficult about doing so (for you). I admit this is one way of being in the world I feel quite disconnected from, and I only fuzzily remember when I did occasionally have challenge speaking up for myself from childhood to younger adulthood to express my true voice, uhhm…louder than its natural volume and conviction. It feels so good to tell people what you need them to know when you need to let them know (appropriately; I do know how to pick my battles), and…get what you need in life by asking clearly for it. So please tell me why it’s hard for you to speak up and make your own world a better and easier place to live.

Not unrelated, I wouldn’t mind a few less scowly or disapproving looks when a bad witch tells it like it is and can still sleep at night. Maybe then they wouldn’t have had to water down the title of Laura Linney’s HBO series ‘The Big C’ (from ‘The “C” Word’). Taken together, this says something to me about our society’s discomfort with women speaking plainly and affecting their own worlds. Maybe if girls were encouraged to speak out and ask for what they want, “castrating bitches” like Isadora Duncan to Hillary Clinton wouldn’t need so many more voices to harmonize and sing it out even a little louder with.

I’m being serious. When you share with me, you’ll educate me. When or why is it hard for you to use your voice in the world, and speak up? Because if you don’t help me out, I will be forced to continue believing that Good Girl (or Guy) Syndrome is what keeps more people from reasonably speaking up, representing themselves as adults — and that seems a tad throwback, if not one-dimensional, to me in this last month of this millennium’s first decade. — BadWitch

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2 responses to “Speak Up! Affect Change (BW)

  1. Thank you, Stacie! That was hugely helpful to me. And I hear you (ironic, eh?) loud and clear. First I want to state that I believe I am very judicious in public situations about boundaries; I don’t have a need to hit people over the head with my thoughts and *neediness*, but do clearly let people know I’m in a room and what I think or *need*, as circumstances dictate. The more personal my relationship is, the more you hear “the truth” from me, more often. I grew up this way so it’s a natural extension of “family” for me, (my interdependent, respectful and pragmatic clan *feels safe* to “get loud” in each others’ face, and then…we’re done. Moved on completely.). Stacie, starting out mid-life doesn’t have to be all challenging, all the time, because you now have more life experience and know what/who works for you and what doesn’t ( http://goodwitchbadwitch.com/2009/09/16/toxic-relationships-friends-don’t-mix/) . Now you only need to add (breeeeathe!) simple words to represent yourself appropriately (annnnd, exhale!). One word at a time, one day at a time, Stacie. Keep adding to the next day. Rome wasn’t built in a day. xoxo

  2. Frankly, I am afraid to hurt other people with what I might say, particularly the people in my life. So, I keep the peace with no real character to my character. I am trying to decide if standing up to and against and for things I believe in or feel would be ok. This is a subject I’ve been giving much thought too recently. I would love to be one of those people who just speak their mind and let it rip. I do think authenticity helps you sleep better, at least I imagine so.
    I was at church last week and our Pastor said “Where in the Bible did it say that people have to feel comfortable?” He was talking about speaking your mind, politically, socially, spiritually. I think his point was a good one, I just can’t figure out how to start in mid-life to speak my mind. I am even now trying my hand at fiction as a way to let my thoughts out.
    I would love your thoughts.
    Stacie

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