Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…
Dear GWBW — How do I deal with not getting something I’ve been working towards all my adult life? That’s almost 15 years of working on this goal, focusing on making it happen and now I find my dream is gone (it’s not a job or a relationship). All that time and energy wasted. Any thoughts on getting my “juicy” back as you call it? I’m angry, sad, low energy, all of it. — Unplugged
Disappointment is an unleashed bitch. Managing our expectations is a typical (avoidance) response and has its place, but it’s disappointment’s lesson task mistress aspect that we should run towards, embrace and be grateful for. In other words: Opportunity! Drill down truthfully to see what you are actually feeling embittered about — it’s not usually The Thing — is it the “time wasted,” or the “recognition not given,” or “unrewarded hard work.” Look for the lessons. What of this situation has you most hopped up and hot under the collar? You also describe suffering from the low energy of depression. What part of this makes you feel that way automatically when you merely hear the word? Your core lesson about this major life disappointment lies within it, if it doesn’t outright go by that label.
Embrace what your true disappointment really says about who you are today. Learn so you don’t have to repeat the same old theme lessons, different day, Groundhog Day, but rather build the strength of learning to move on!, self-promote…to the next new disappointment or “problem.” That’s how life actually lived actually works, Unplugged.
Thankfully we’re all students,
Coping with disappointment is one of the hardest and most consistent issues humans must learn to deal with in this 3-D existence.
I am sorry that you have found your dream is gone, but that is just the very specific outcome of the dream you wanted. Sometimes the Universe has bigger things in store for you. For example, perhaps a woman has always dreamed of being a famous actress. She sees herself winning awards and receiving huge acclaim for her acting abilities. This is her dream. She works hard for this dream, taking acting lessons, moving to a city that has more opportunities and going to countless auditions thinking each one could be her lucky break. But her lucky break never comes. She feels her dream is lost.
In order to make a living for herself she begins teaching her own acting classes. Her style is unique and she develops a large following. She trains countless actors who go on to define a generation. She has trained the celebrated, the acclaimed and the award-winners.
Did she really lose her dream or was the Universe’s dream bigger?
In your case, you have put time and effort into your dream. What have you learned in the process? Who have you met, befriended and loved during your journey?
We cannot know where our destiny lies. We can only know the road we have traveled and the gifts we have been given along the way. It is true that you requested the gift I the polka dot box with the pink ribbon. Will you refuse to see the other gifts you are given? Somewhere beneath the regret and disappointment is the truth of lessons learned and experiences gained. Somewhere, when you focus on the gratitude, you will find a diamond. Perhaps it is wrapped in blue paper with a polka dot ribbon.
In other words, even as you mourn the loss of your dream, as you wanted it, realize another gift lies just beyond the recrimination and it has been waiting for you all the time. Be grateful for all the little gifts you have found along the way and you’ll start to see the outline of a new dream coming into focus. It may not swell your heart with the passion you felt before, bt it has the capacity to give you great joy—if you let it.
Breathe. Count your blessings. They are more abundant than you are allowing yourself to see.
Gratitude is the attitude of abundance,
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