I have a lifelong policy of banning “obligation” from my life. The action bit of that noun, I mean. As a hyper-responsible type, I’m not worried this might lead me to confusion of becoming reckless or neglectful of what needs to get and be done in my life. I just want to avoid becoming bitter and/or going numb. Simply put, my criteria for doing things that are required in life are I: 1) need to for survival (i.e., bill paying); 2) want to (pay extra for eating out); or 3) have a passion to (create, share or help expand someone or –thing, or my capacity/self). As a result, my energy that goes into doing a thing because of either of those categories is positive, if not downright peacefully easy and light.
But even all good, enduring philosophies do not go untested in life. After all, that’s what we (literally) live for: to learn lessons. What to do when life throws you the inevitable tests that make you want to run and hide from a responsibility, or throw things, preferably messy breakables? Find your own personal mantra (I have repeated, “There for the grace of god go I,” — uhhm, quite a lot) and if the going gets really tough, I find the best method of embracing something while tamping down your own discordant ego is to jump for joy and say out loud(ly) how much you are grateful for doing this thing, for example, “I am so blessed to have X in my life to (manage/take care of/pay for, etc)! I love learning how lucky I am to have simple lessons like this to teach me! I’m happy I’m starting to be less frustrated by X each day!!” Really make the statements as ridiculous, loud — but true — as possible. Do not lie to yourself (e.g., “I love doing this work!”) when a thing/your attitude has not shifted yet. You will only be putting that into your system (brain, body chemistry, body memory), too. Only re-program with the truth and — don’t forget to LAUGH OUT LOUD at how silly your own ego makes you feel when you do this exercise.
Do you do things in life because you feel duty-bound and obligated, as a habit? How do you expand your willingness in life, most especially when it is most challenging? — BadWitch
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