P.S. Connect with us! Let us know which of these ideas and tips resonate, or work/don’t work for you.
Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…
Dear GWBW — I have a weird one for you. I live in a secure building with a doorman. I’ve known the day duty one for about a year, but he’s now weirding me out. I don’t like how he stares at everyone, not just me! No one else I brought this up to seems to want to speak up to the tenant’s board. Am I being an ass—- if I bring it up? I don’t want to get anyone fired or disciplined unfairly. — Willa Willies
Dear Willa Willies,
If you feel that something’s wrong, there’s more than a slightly good chance that something is. When we listen to our instincts instead of trying to stuff them down in favor of social protocol or other society behavior-editing reasons, we usually do better by our selves and save a lot of grief in the long run. Besides, the basic definition of “instinct” inclines us toward evolution, you know…survival.
Having said that, you’re right, you can’t just accuse someone with no proof of wrongdoing or a legitimate charge to bring against him. But there’s nothing to stop you from voicing your feelings to an authority figure. I once worked in an office where whenever one of the owner’s friends came to visit, the red flag of every woman in the place was raised — strongly, viscerally. And this guy hadn’t tried anything with us, either. It wasn’t until we chatted casually about “Mack,” as I’ll call him here, that we realized we all had the same creepy if inexplicable feeling about him. You know that’s enough basis for this BadWitch to approach the owner, ask him about Mack’s background and let him know clearly that the women were universally uncomfortable around him — while underscoring that we had nothing solid to substantiate why. My tone wasn’t gossipy nor slanderous, I was giving voice to a real concern…and getting it on record. Go chat with your tenant board’s president, the more board members (ideally only, at once), the better, and clearly and non-emotionally air your concerns. Getting them on record would be even more ideal, but again, simply alerting someone in authority about tenant uneasiness is important. This action holds the authority figure(s) to some level of responsibility in just knowing there might be an issue to deal with. If s/he and the board are like most, they are there to serve the tenants’ interest and usually want to. Additionally, it is your right to know if his employment background check yielded anything of concern to the safety of tenants, with whom he interfaces every day.
Honor your instincts,
Dear Willa Willies,
Trusting your intuition is so important! How many times have we heard the news stories about people who have had awful things happen to them, who said quite clearly, I thought something was wrong, but I didn’t want to “be impolite,” “get someone in trouble.” We know when some situation or person is making us feel uncomfortable. That is your 6th sense telling you to take care of yourself because something is not right.
If you’ve known this doorman for about a year, but this new behavior is starting to suddenly freak you out, there may well be a new issue that needs to be addressed. You don’t know what’s going on in this person’s personal life. He could be on meds he has stopped taking. He may have some anger issues, which are now coming up and need expressing. You don’t know.
But what you do know is that he is making you uncomfortable. Go have a talk with the tenant’s board. How would you feel if you said nothing and then someone in your building was hurt? Explain to the Board that he’s been fine for almost a year, but recently has seemed strange—staring at people in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Let them know you don’t want to get anyone fired unfairly, but that you wanted to speak up ANONOMOUSLY, so that someone could talk to him about what’s going on and find a solution. Truth is, it could be anything as benign as cataracts, you don’t know. But not taking control of your own safety will only undermine your ability to feel comfortable and free in your own home. Does that make sense?
On an energetic level, I suggest doing some daily meditation work.
1. Imagine the who building having a grounding cord that runs all the way down to the very center of the Earth. It is plugged in there allowing any negative energy to filter out of the building to be recycled at the center of the Earth.
2. Imagine the building filling up with a beautiful pink energy with gold flecks. This is the energy of compassion. Allow this cleansing energy to fill the building, clearing out any animosity and again flowing to the center of the Earth to be recycled.
3. Call in extra help from the Angels. Ask them, especially Archangel Michael to surround you and your loved ones. Ask them to protect you from any dangerous situations. It may sound far-fetched, but you will actually feel peace…and get the extra help you need.
Remember, your safety should be your number one priority. If you trade it in for popular opinion or politeness, you lose not only part of your self-esteem and sense of self, but your sense of personal ability to care and protect yourself. Take care of you and let the chips fall where they need to.
Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.
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